Closer To You
by chrino
Summary: Atem, a lonely boy, falls for another boy, Yugi. With all the struggles in his life, how can he even think of falling for another his gender? And will the world he's dragged into be too much for him? Malexmale relationship, rated M for a reason! DISCONTINUED
1. Prologue

Kichiko: Are you finally posting this? It's about time! You've been working on this thing for - how many years now?

Chrino: Shut up! It's not that easy to write something! And besides, things always came in the way…

Kichiko: Yeah, yeah, I know.

Well people, a new story is up and about. This is just a prologue, so we will most likely give you the next chapter very soon. But we would still like to hear what you think of it. Give it a read, and then give us a little thought if we should continue this or not. A'it?

So, no owny Yu-Gi-Oh! and all that jazz.

And that's that.

FYI, this will be a mature story for a reason. And for those who doesn't have any good thoughts about men being together, hit the back space. Fair warning to you all.

….….

Prologue

It was never intentional. I never meant for it to happen. It just did. At first I was scared – still am – and confused. So confused because I couldn't understand why I felt the way I did, why things changed the way it did. How could the heart begin to feel such things, how could it pound so greatly in my chest without me doing any strenuous activity? Why was it that I felt so strange whenever I was close to that boy? It just wasn't natural.

I had never really thought of such things. Of boys, that is. It was girls, of course. I thought about girls. Have had a few crushes too. But it never led anywhere, though, mainly because I didn't dare ask them out, but also because no one really knows I exist. It's really sad to know, but I'm used to it, so I don't think about it – too much.

There was always a girl who I rested my eyes upon, as a boy should; until that day. That one day when everything was so bad that I wondered, seriously wondered, why I still lived. That one day when I saw the most beautiful boy I had ever laid my eyes upon.

That day was when everything changed within me. I saw him. Noticed him, really noticed him. Handsome, cool, confident, wonderful; everything I wanted to be. At first I think I was jealous. He had friends; he was popular – well, in his own right. He had a family; people who cared about him, who helped him grow up to the kind of man he was today. He was rich, and could do whatever he wanted. In other words, everything that I was not.

At first I thought of all this as mere jealousy. He did have everything I had ever wanted, and had the means to do what he wanted to. But I was also curious, so I started to follow him around some to find out more about him. The more I discovered about him, the more I felt my heart pound a hole in my chest, the more light headed I became when I came to close to him; the more I began to see his good qualities.

After some time I realised it. I had fallen in love. Though I'd never been in love, it couldn't be anything else. I felt warm whenever I thought about him. My heart leaped whenever I saw him smile. My blood raced whenever we pass in the hallway. I daydreamed of the time we could've spent together, when we didn't share class, or kept glancing when we did share class – we did share more or less every class.

It scared me, really scared me. It was hard enough getting through the hardships of my everyday life without being gay, too: or at least, bisexual. I'm almost positive that I'm bisexual, almost. Hadn't I had crushes on some girls? Or had it merely been my mind convincing me that it was, because I wasn't really ready for it? Even so, I eventually came to the conclusion that I was bisexual. I was nowhere ready to accept being gay. It was too early for that. Too frightening. Too – much, for a teenager to think of on top of everything else.

But even with all these scary thoughts, I found that I didn't worry too much about it whenever I was near him. I forgot everything whenever I was too close to him – and it had fatal consequences at times. Usually it's silly things like tripping my feet, fumbling with my shoes at the entranceway or loosing grip of whatever I was holding, normally my books. One time I even crashed into a door. Everyone had laughed at me, and believing that he did too I ran to hide, too embarrassed to look him in the eye after that. After all, he was the one who just closed the door without me noticing because I was so entranced by him that I lost track of my surroundings.

Despite these stupid moments and a constant fear of being viewed as an idiot, I couldn't help but try to be as close to him as I possibly could without invading his personal space. And also to keep a fair distance to not be marked as a stalker. It's not my fault that I happen to be in many of the same places as them. Him and his gang. His cool friends, who never seem to leave him alone long enough for anyone to approach. And many did. Like I said, he was popular in his own way.

I like to be somewhere close enough so I could watch him. Simply watch him. It sounds silly, but I love to gaze at him, see the way he moved, how he smiles, laughs, smirks; look at how his face scrunches up as he thinks, how he wrinkles his nose when he hears something he doesn't like, a small frown when something is a bit difficult; a quirk at the corner of the lip when he does – and the list goes on. There are so many things about him that it's hard to keep a proper distance. I admit, when I first heard him speak, that wonderful musical and pure voice I couldn't keep away. There were many times during those first few days that I tried to come as close as I could so I could listen to him. This resulted in his friends becoming suspicious of me – though they never really notice me on a daily basis – so I reverted to keeping my distance. No one messes with those people. They are very intimidating, powerful and dangerous, so I found it to be in my best interest to watch from a distance again.

But really, how else was I to learn of him, when there was no way to even speak to him myself? I want to know everything there is to know about him. I'm in love; it's only natural to be curious, and to learn.

The library is my sanctuary at school. It lets me go somewhere to not be bothered, and to read. Reading becomes a thing to do when one is alone. I've learned many small details about him in the library. I have a seat in the far back, in a nice secluded corner where most students usually don't go unless they need a specific book from there. And on the other end of where I sit is where they like to sit, by the large window, also a bit secluded from the rest of the library. I've listened to many conversations like this. Oh, I know it's not a good thing to listen to what other people are talking about, but then again, this was I discovered new things about him. Like how he likes music, especially punk rock and alternative metal. I know of his favourite colour, place, book, and band. He also likes to sing karaoke, to play games, stay home to watch movies all night, and so, so much more. God, I'm sounding like a stalker. I've thought this so many times, reprimanded myself on so many occasions that I've lost count. Yet I can't help myself. I am happy whenever I learn something new about him. I am happy just to sit close to him in class. And whenever I'm blessed to hear his voice, my heart pumps so hard it's a wonder it hasn't worn out from overuse.

And yet, I wanted more. I wanted to be able to walk over to him and just talk to him, just everyday things, or other things. Just talk. But I lose my vocabulary whenever I am just within reach of seeing or hearing him, so it's not an option.

I have never been a people person. So I have never, and probably will not, talk to my love. How can I? It wasn't like I could walk up to him and confess that I'd loved him since the day I'd laid my eyes on him? I wanted to though. But I wouldn't know what to say. I don't know how to make conversation. So I would most likely end up as a laughing stock by even attempting to start a conversation.

I am a little jealous of his friends. They get to be so close to him without concern of being left out. They can hang out every day and do all the things that friends do. They are so close, and know so much about my love, that I almost wished I could be one of them. But I didn't want to be one of them; I wanted to be with my love, and only my love, just the two of us. I have never needed anyone like this before, before my love.

It really is amazing though, how happy I can be just to see his pretty face, those shining eyes, that dazzling smile, to hear his angelic voice, the cute laughter. If only he'd looked at me; talked to me; laughed with me. It did hurt, knowing that I was, not shy, but not daring to walk up to him, even for a small chat. I wouldn't know what to say. I doubt that I ever will.

It is love. I am in love; so much that my heart aches. So much that it frightens me. It shouldn't, but is does. What frightened me the most was not the chance of being rejected – if I ever got to the point where I couldn't contain my feelings any longer – but the fact that I didn't know. I didn't know if he really saw me, if he knows that I exist, or if those brief moments of eye contact were just my imagination. Still, I can't help but wish, and hope, and pray that my love will notice me, someday.

Maybe I will step up. Maybe I'll get out of my shell of insecurity and step out of my wall of protection. Maybe I will walk up to him and say "I love you" and hope for the best. Who knows, perhaps he likes me too, but hadn't had the guts to say so. Wishful thinking, I know, but one can only hope.

For now, I will gaze upon him and slowly gather the courage to finally go and talk to him; my angel. My gorgeous angel. My gorgeous, kind, selfless, sexy, amethyst-eyed angel. My angel; Yugi Mutou.

...

Kichiko: So, like I said, this was a prologue, but please leave a little thought of what you think of it, and chapter 1 should be just around the corner.

Chrino: I hope to hear from you.

Kichiko: And that comes from my dear shy little author! Good for you!

So, tell us what you think of it, and there might be a first chapter. ;)


	2. First meeting

Kichiko: Thank you for your response! Seems this story was of interest. All right, first of all let me state that this is a new high school love story between our lovely characters, BUT there are differences, which makes this story interesting; at least I think so. And also there will OOC. People will be out of character at least in the beginning, and we'll see how it progresses from there. Just so nobody will wonder too much about it.

Chrino: I shall repeat what we have already said, just so everybody will have read it twice: this is a rated M story, there will be sexual action between two men, and there is also violence and swearing and other bad situations. Don't read if you have anything against any of what's been listed!

Kichiko: Damn, woman! Confidence, I like that.

Chrino: Better to be straight forward about it than fumble over it.

Kichiko: Right you are! And now, get ready for the first chapter! Nothing much, just a little something to get things started. ;) Enjoy!

Oh, and no own anything! Nothing at all! Except the plot of course.

...

CLOSER TO YOU

Atem looked up in time to see Yugi groan. It seemed like he hadn't done too well on the test. He knew he hadn't. They didn't even know there was going to be a test, but that teacher just loved to spring it on them, out of the blue and totally unprepared. Meant it was a good way for the students to actually pay attention in class. It didn't work. Not for Atem, that is. Math had never been his best subject. Too complicated. But he did get a decent enough grade not to fail.

He took his time to gather up his things; he really didn't feel like moving just yet. It wasn't because Yugi hadn't left the room, because he would soon, but because he didn't want too many people to see him limp. Not that Atem usually cared about what others thought of him, but he sure didn't want people to talk about him either.

When the classroom was finally deserted he slowly made his way out and to the nearest bathroom. No one noticed him where he walked, not really. There was no need to keep avoiding contact with those around him; they couldn't be bothered with the likes of Atem. Being so quiet and reserved must be a curse. At least that was what he had thought a few times. He knew the reason why he was the way he was, and he had no one to blame. Finally reaching the bathroom, Atem found it blissfully empty.

Atem took a quick look in the mirror after his business to wash his hands. A boy stared back at him, barely 5 feet tall, with jet-black hair pulled in a tight ponytail in the neck, the tips a deep violet colour, blond bangs into the hair. The eyes narrow, the same shade of violet as his hair-tips, the face a nice shape, made him look like he was at least 20, instead of the 17 years he really was.

Sometimes he couldn't believe he was in love. At times like this, when he looked at himself, he couldn't believe he'd fallen in love with his mirror image.

Yugi looked a lot like him, yet very unlike him. He had the same spikes, only his blond bangs hang down and framed his round face nicely. His eyes were big and innocent and the brightest shade of amethyst Atem had ever seen. The tips of his hair were the same as his eyes. They were roughly the same height, and so, very small even by Japanese standards.

Yugi was beautiful, with those pretty eyes, happy smile and kind being. Atem was nothing. He wasn't even fully Japanese.

His father was Japanese, a handsome man who, in his youth, wanted to explore the world, to see what was beyond the shores of his own country. During one of those trips he met a woman in Italy: love at first sight from what Atem had heard. She was half British and half Italian, hence Atem's strange blood mix. They became close and wanted to spend their lives together. Needless to say she came with his father to Japan, wanting to see some of the world herself, her curiosity never ending. Marriage was the next step, and then they had Atem. Why they chose an Egyptian name for him was still a great mystery, and one he would never find the answer to.

The marriage hadn't been a good one though. Well, for Atem's part his first few years were great, from what he could remember. But he did remember when the arguing and fighting started to become part of their daily life. Sure, it had never been a perfect family life, but that was only because of his father. On the occasions that he was at work or on other errands, his mother and Atem would have some quality time together. Those were the moments he treasured the most. She always had so many stories to tell him, from her travels and her home country, both Britain and Italy, and also some from Spain. Often she would sing to him, many a tune he still remembered to this day; teach Atem her mother tongue, both English and Italian, and the few Spanish phrases she knew; and even taught him how to play the piano. Atem had inherited her musical gift, and she wanted him to learn as much as he could, play as often as he had the chance to, for it was a way to heal. Music has a certain healing power, and it could help anyone who wanted it, she said many a time. There were times when Atem believed that she had wanted him to play so that she could heal, though he hadn't really understood why at that time, being only a boy. She was always so happy when he played for her, so he didn't think of questioning it, though he did wonder at times, even to this very day.

But a small boy would wonder what happened to his mother when suddenly, she stopped coming home.

It had been only a few days after his eighth birthday, and Atem had come home from school at the usual time, only to find his father packing and his mother nowhere in sight. There had been no time for questions, had just been told to pack only the necessary things and that they were leaving. They were in the car in no time, and many hours later were in a new town: Domino city. This was their new home, his father told Atem, when they'd arrived at their new home. It was a downright dump, and something hardly fit to live in. Atem knew not to protest or to question it, so he didn't.

Their new life had never been easy. His father had a decent job the first years, but ended up on the bottle, and lost his job. He got supported with money because of Atem, being an only parent to a growing boy, but used the money on alcohol. Whenever Atem tried to stop him from drinking, he would get a beating to shut up. These days, he would get a beating for no reason at all. It was troubling, to say the least. Their family-life was no life, at least, not as a family. They were two completely different individuals living under the same roof, and with no room for discussion. Whatever Atem's father said, was to be done, or else.

When they moved to Domino City, the rules were to keep out of the way and to not ask questions, or there would be consequences. But he couldn't. He was only eight at the time; he wanted to know where his mother was. She was the one who loved him. She was the one to raise him and be there as a parent should be. Atem had never even had a good contact with his own father. But after receiving a beating whenever he tried to ask any questions concerning his mother, he stopped.

The rest was like the life Atem was used to now. Coming home to find his father drunk, do his homework, and if he was lucky, wasn't beaten down for something he hadn't done. It was the alcohol, Atem reasoned with himself at first; it was only the alcohol. But he knew better. It wasn't just the alcohol, but he didn't know what it was. It was probably for the best. He didn't desire to get a punch for asking a question. That was how bad the situation was. And there was nothing he could do but stay. When Atem turned 21 he would finally get away. Or if he got into a good college he could move; as far away as he possibly could. But he needed money. And money wasn't exactly falling into his hands.

But it didn't mean that he didn't manage to get a hold of some of the money. By now, Atem had managed to save up (in his opinion) a small fortune, and he was working on saving up more. If he were lucky, he would be able to pay for some of the college, and also take up a loan so he would be able to study. That would've been a dream come true. He would finally get away from the grasp of his father's cruel hands, and be himself. He did not who know who that was, but he would find him. But first, he had to survive long enough to get to college, and that might be tougher then he wanted to think about.

Sighing, Atem glanced at himself again, deeming himself good enough to be seen, and walked out. No need to be late for class. Luckily there was only one class left, and then he could go home and rest. Maybe take some painkillers, but thought against it. Atem had to go home first if he wanted to buy some, and he didn't think he could manage. He groaned in pain as we walked through the corridor. Damn, it hurt. But Atem didn't want to go to the school nurse, as she would ask questions he didn't want to answer. What he wouldn't do for some strong painkillers, though. Luckily it was their day off tomorrow so he could just stay home and relax. Well, as much relaxation one could get with a constant fear off one's own father.

It was Monday. Atem walked down the corridor, making sure not to bump into anyone. Last time he did had resulted with a meeting with an angry fist. That had been earlier that very same day. He almost groaned in pain by the thought of it. He had enough bruises thanks to his father; he really didn't need more. Not that anyone cared. But, less pain was always a good thing.

Not wanting to dwell on it, he decided it was a good idea to get to his next class. That was English, his favourite subject. He almost smiled. Atem really liked English, and he loved to write. Mostly he wrote in English or in Italian, it just felt more natural to him. His father hated when he did that. Atem didn't know why, but he did, and every time he found something of Atem's that was written in anything but Japanese, he got a beating that made him lay in bed for a week. Well, anything he wrote resulted in a beating if it wasn't anything his father approved of – which was nothing. So he kept everything hidden, even his homework, which was a bother, for more than once had he forgotten an assignment or a text, forgetting where it lay hidden. Luckily it hadn't been often, but it was troubling enough.

Atem shook his head, as if to clear it from the bad thoughts, and headed for the third floor.

He was about halfway up the second set of stairs when it happened. Someone with spiky hair fell down from the top of the stairs, and before he knew it, Atem was at the bottom with the other boy sprawled on top of him. The air had been knocked out of him, and he was gasping for air, yet he managed to say a few words.

"Are – you – okay?" he asked the tricolour haired boy.

Yugi was off of him in a heartbeat and turned to Atem, worry in his amethyst eyes.

"I should ask you the same thing! What were you thinking, throwing yourself in my way like that? Are you hurt?"

Atem's heart beat faster. Yugi was talking to him. Him! He almost fainted, because he felt it harder to breathe. His breath had been caught in his throat when Yugi spoke. That beautiful voice. Full of worry for _him_, Atem. Only then did he realise what he'd done. He'd caught Yugi before he hit the stairs, but lost balance and tumbled down as well. Yugi was sort of right. He hadn't given it any second thought; he'd only wanted to ensure Yugi's safety. He just acted. He knew what he wanted to answer. "I only thought about your safety." But that would raise questions about why, so instead he said: "No, I'm fine. Just lost my breath," gasping still, but not so hard anymore.

He was lying through his teeth. His back hurt like hell. Well, he should be glad he didn't break anything, but right now he was so happy with being in Yugi's presence that he couldn't care less.

"Are you sure?" Yugi asked, not convinced. "I think we should go to the school nurse, get her to check you up."

The happy bubble burst and was replaced with panic. He avoided the nurse of all cost.

"No, really, I'm fine. Nothing to worry about." Atem tried to keep his voice even, so not to raise any suspicion. He stood up to show Yugi that he was okay. At least fake it. He was good at faking. It hurt badly, considering that the place it hurt was a place where he had bruised some ribs some months or so ago. The fall hadn't exactly helped.

He extended his hand to his secret love, who took it a bit hesitantly, still not sure whether to trust Atem on his word, but he seemed to let it go.

"Well, thanks," Yugi said when back up on his feet. "I don't wanna think about what would've happened hadn't you caught me. You are absolutely sure you are all right? I'm sure you got at least some bruises, if not some bruised ribs."

Atem shook his head. "It's nothing, really."

Yugi sighed, and scratched his head. "Fine, if you say so." He looked at Atem a moment, thoughtfully, and then he smiled. It was a miracle that Atem's legs didn't give out at that precise moment.

"Well, now I owe you one. If you need a favour, you just ask. Anything at all."

Atem gave a small smile in return. He still couldn't believe that he was talking to his angel. The mere thought made him want to hug Yugi, but he thought against it. It was probably not a good idea, as tempting as it was.

"Come on," Yugi said, "we'd better get to class. You have English now too, right?" Not waiting for an answer he turned to walk up the stairs and to pick up the books he'd dropped when he fell.

Atem just stood still, shocked. Yugi had noticed him. He knew that they were in the same classes. He'd thought that no one noticed him, except for those bullies that decided once in a while that he was a good punching bag. His face broke into a big smile as he hurried after Yugi to gather his own books, and go to class.

"So," Yugi said when Atem caught up with him, "I've never got your name. What do I call you?"

"Ah – Atem," he said, a little surprised by the question.

"Atem. Hmm, not Japanese, nor English. Where's that from?"

"It's Egyptian."

"Oh, really?" Yugi looked the other over, it was really hard for Atem not to blush. "You don't look Egyptian."

"My father is Japanese, and my mother is part Italian, part English." Atem surprised himself by telling Yugi this. If there was one thing he hated about himself it was his name. And telling Yugi a part of his background made his name seem weird. Who did give their son the name of an Egyptian god when he had no ties to Egypt?

But Yugi didn't seem to find his name, or his blood mix, strange. "Oh," he said. "Huh, interesting. Well, you can call me Yugi, Atem-kun."

Atem just nodded, not trusting his voice at the moment. He wasn't quite come past the fact that Yugi was speaking to him. It was like a dream. If it was, he never wanted to wake up, ever.

"Oh, there are my friends," Yugi suddenly said after a moment of silence. "Sorry, I'm seated with them, but I'll see you later, right?" Without waiting for an answer, he grinned and strolled off to his friends.

Atem envied Yugi. He was so open and forward and kind and sweet, and had no problem making friends. If only he'd been like that. Then maybe he would've had some friends of his own.

But – hadn't Yugi said 'see you later'? Did that mean that he wanted to be friends with Atem? It wasn't what he really wanted, but it was more than he could've ever hoped for.

With a stupid grin on his face, he walked into the classroom, not caring if anyone noticed. His father wouldn't; he was going out for the day and was not to be expected home before next morning. He paid enough attention in class to hear the important facts, but other than that, he observed Yugi, and daydreamed of the time he could've spent with Yugi.

...

Kichiko: Naaaw. How cute. Well, like I said, it's not the longest thing, but something we hope will keep you interested.

Chrino: Oh, I don't know about thaaaat...

Kichiko: Where did your confidence go?

Chrino: Out the window?

Kichiko: Yeah, I bet.

Hmmm. I think I shall ask for five reviews. It very little, but something for our efforts, you know? The next chapter will come, we just don't know when yet.

See you in the next chapter! :)


	3. An afternoon special

Kichiko: Okay, never mind that we practically didn't get any reviews, we'll post the next chapter anyway. Disclaimer: Chrino doesn't own Yu-Gi-Oh! Never have and never will. She owns the plot though.

Chrino: You can be awful at times. Thank you all for favourite, story alert and the rest. That alone makes me happy.

Kichiko: But reviews are awesome too!

Chrino: Damn you, woman! Stop that!

Kichiko: All right, all right... Well, like I said, new chapter. Go ahead and read!

Atem hissed in pain. Damn it, why did this always happen to him? He cursed softly as he applied makeup to cover the bruises and cuts on his face. Luckily, there weren't any on his arms. Not any new ones, at least. They had their summer-uniform now, and that meant short-sleeved shirts. Still most of the bruises were covered. The face on the other hand…

He hissed in pain again as he tried to cover the worst cut. It was long and was so dark it was difficult to cover it completely.

Atem had thought that he would be out of the house and well on his way to school before his father came home. He didn't know what his father had been doing, but whatever it was, it had drawn out a terribly angry. So, about five in the morning, his father had walked into Atem's room and given him a beating, luckily not as bad as they usually were. It was rare that he showed up in the middle of the night to beat the crap out of his own son, but it happened. Those were the worst. There was no restriction to the blows and the kicks. The pain was unbearable. It was at those moments after his father had left the room that the thoughts of suicide were the strongest. Yet, he never had the strength to, or rather, the courage to do so. He just couldn't for some reason. It was always very tempting to end all the pain and suffering, but something held him back. He always conducted it down to Yugi, but, for some reason he couldn't figure out, it just didn't seem enough anymore. Yes, Yugi was talking to him _now_, but there wouldn't be anything else between them besides – a hopefully future – friendship. So why was he holding on?

Casting away his thoughts, Atem gave up to make the makeup to look perfect and brought the items back to his room, where he hid everything behind a loose piece of wood in the corner by his bed. He had many things hidden that he didn't want his father to find. It was a good hiding spot. By early explorations he had found a small space where he could hide his treasures. That was when he was a young boy. Now it was used for more important things. The plank was hinged off in a certain way, which was Atem's doing, and only noticeable if someone felt their way down the wall.

Makeup and hair-products hidden, he could move on to his uniform. He looked over his shirt critically. He didn't know how much he could keep on patching it up before anyone noticed how worn it actually was. There were a lot of cuts and holes in it. At least it looked more of less nice. For now.

He was forced to use the summer-uniform, as much as he wanted to use the long-sleeved one. His bruises would show. Damn him! That drunken father of his clearly hadn't bothered to mind where his blows hit. Not that he did normally, but when he was actually sober enough to do so, he never landed a blow on Atem's face and arms. Sometimes, Atem wanted to be hit in the face, and not bother to put on any makeup, so everyone could see, so they would notice. So someone would care, and ask him how he was, and who had done it to him. So someone could help him get away from his abusive father. Because he didn't dare to do so alone. He didn't have anywhere to go.

But not today. He didn't want to let Yugi see him like this, broken and bruised. He had managed to tone down the few bruises he had on his arms but they were noticeable. The big cut on his face was the same.

Atem sighed sadly. He really wanted to get to know Yugi, but he didn't want him to worry about his bruises. If he asked questions, and the police got involved in this, his father would surely kill him, like he'd told so many times, sober or not. "Tell anyone, and you'll be dead before you know it!" He really feared for his life, though it wasn't much of a life at all. Yet, he felt that surging fear in his veins and in every fibre of his being whenever his father became violent and threatening and he had no way to get away. He never knew if he would get away from it alive, or end up dead in an alley.

He really hated his father right now. He was angry. Usually he got up in the morning, fixed his bruises and his hair, got dressed and walked to school, feeling nothing but cold numbness, until he saw Yugi. Yugi always made him happy. And now they had talked. Yugi had wanted to hang out with him, to get to know him. At least Atem thought so. But the last beating had been so bad that he had to stay in bed a whole week before he felt good enough to really go to school. And get away with his appearance with the teachers. He would avoid Yugi of all costs. He didn't want to, but it was necessary.

The only good thing about his father was that his signature was easy to copy. Atem had used it so many times, so when he came with a fake sick note to his teachers about his absence, no one questioned it.

Dressed and ready, he took a last look at himself in his broken mirror. His hair was flat and in a ponytail in his neck as usual, his face looking more or less natural, despite all the makeup, and though the shirt was short-sleeved, it did cover the bruises fairly well. There was also no P.E. today, so he didn't have to worry about changing in front of his classmates. Pleased with what he saw, he grabbed his schoolbag and sneaked his way out of the dump he called home. He didn't live in the nicest neighbourhood, but not in the most dangerous ones either, so there weren't much criminal activity there. Atem knew where to go to avoid them where there were criminals and drug-dealers and other bad people. It was morning now, so he could take the shortest route to school. He wanted to be early so he wouldn't bump into Yugi. That was one of his two goals today, avoid Yugi and avoid trouble. But on certain days, it seemed that trouble found him no matter what he did.

"I'm getting really worried now. We haven't seen him for days."

Yugi was looking for Atem yet again. He'd wanted to thank him properly, and ask him to join him and his friends for some fun, be that karaoke, a movie, or just a day at the arcade playing games. He wanted to get to know him better, that quiet boy that sat in the back of the class. He only spoke when spoken to, and didn't have any friends, though he seemed to be very kind. Yugi wanted to change that.

"Why? He's not your responsibility or anything," Jonouchi said. Yugi sighed dejectedly.

"It's not like that. I just want to thank him properly, but I haven't seen him at all since that day, so I'm worried that something's happened to him."

"He could just be sick, you know," Anzu said.

"He didn't look sick. He didn't show any symptoms of anything either."

"How would you know?"

"When you practically live with a doctor, you are bound to pick up things, and I've heard it so many times what kind of symptoms to look for, so now it's kind of a habit. Besides, if he _is_ sick, it would've been something that came quick and unexpectedly, and would treat him to a nice cosy bed at the hospital," Yugi said with sarcasm. He was starting to get annoyed now. They've had this discussion a few times now, and only resulted in Yugi throwing up his hands in sheer frustration and take his leave. It was almost like a rehearsal to a school-play, because the conversation was almost always the same, and it bugged Yugi to no end. He decided to end it right now, not wanting to go over everything all over again.

"Let's just get to class."

"Yugi – "

"Forget it, okay? If he's not here, he's not here, no worries."

Fortunately, the others seemed to sense his irritation, so they let it be and walked to class. It was History first. Luckily, they didn't have a test in that class, but next class was double math, and a huge test awaiting them. Yugi hadn't prepared for it, and in his eager (or desperation) he thoroughly questioned his friends about what they'd had in math the last week, though math was one of his strongest subjects, and forgot all about Atem. After that was another test, in English this time, another one of his strong subjects, a very simple one. All in all, he was pleased with the first half of the school day. Poor Jonouchi couldn't say the same. He had his strong subjects too, but math wasn't one of them. Honda hated English, so he complained on how poorly it went. Anzu was good in practically every class, so she wasn't worried the slightest about the results. So instead, she teased the taller boys, just to be mean.

Finally, after a well appreciated lunch-break and some more classes that turned their brain to brain-goo (that's what Jonouchi claimed after the end of every day when school was over), it was time to go home at last. The gang had agreed to meet up later that day, after doing some of that cursed homework. It was better to get it out of the way so the rest of the day could be spent on more important matters.

Jonouchi stretched his long limbs as they were to change their shoes at the entrance.

"Oh, man, it's gonna be so good to get home. Just relax and enjoy life," he said with a big yawn.

"Right," Honda snorted, "like homework is relaxing."

"Well, after that, then," Jonouchi said.

"Forgot something, have we?" Anzu asked.

Jonouchi looked confused for a moment, then it dawned on him.

"Oh, yeah. Well, _after_ meeting up with you."

"And how long don't you think we will stay out?" Anzu retorted. "You'll hardly be up when you get home, seeing how sleepy you are now."

"Okay, fine, whatever," Jonouchi muttered, and then spoke to Yugi instead. "Hey, you are meeting up with us later, right?"

"Yeah, just have to finish that History assignment and the rest of that math homework," Yugi said as he looked through his backpack. "Guys, did any of you borrow my history book today?"

"No, we all have our books," Anzu said, and the others nodded.

"I thought so. I probably forgot it in History class. Crud, now I have to go and fetch it."

"You can borrow mine," she said, already reaching for her own schoolbag to find it.

"No, that's okay. I need my own. Most of my notes for that assignment are in it. Don't you need it yourself?"

A small satisfied smile grew on her face. "I finished it yesterday."

"Yesterday?" Honda said in disbelief.

"Sure. Why leave to tomorrow what can be done today? Now all I have to do is finish the math and I'm free tonight to do whatever I want."

"Well, I should really get that book," Yugi said, stopping what could've turned to be a nasty conversation of name-calling. He knew them well enough to know when to stop certain topics. Or any topic, for that matter. "The teacher will kill me if I don't turn in a proper text."

"Yeah, okay. We'll see you later, pal."

They waved goodbye and Yugi turned to fetch his book.

'What a drag,' he thought as he thought of all the time he missed by having to take the detour to the classroom, which, of course, was at the far end of the school. He walked briskly, so he could get out of there quickly. After all, he had more important business to attend.

As he neared the music classroom, he heard music. It came from the auditorium. It sounded like a piano. Yugi stopped in his tracks in front of the double door leading in to the auditorium. He was entranced by the music. The melody was so beautiful there were no words for it. But whom could it be that was playing such wonderful music? From what he knew, there weren't any special talents at Domino High who played piano. Then again, he didn't know everyone, so it could be a teacher, student, or maybe even the janitor, playing in secret. But why would he or she hide such a talent? It was so fantastic, and a pleasure to listen to, the little he was able to hear through the thick doors.

Yugi had been standing still for a few moments now, not sure whether to go inside to see who was playing or not. He was very curious though. He would be able to let it be if he didn't, but he should consider the musician's privacy. Yugi glanced around him, and took a few steps to the door. If the doors were locked, he would go and do what he was supposed to do, to fetch that book and leave. If it was open… He pressed down the door-handle, and it opened silently. He hesitated a second or two, before walking in, closing the door softly after himself, as if scared to disturb the pianist.

It was dark except for at the stage. From where he stood he weren't able to see the one who was playing. The door was an entrance to the far side of the auditorium, so if he wanted to see who played, he had to move to the other side, as he couldn't even see the piano from where he stood. The musician was there still; the music had yet to cease. It flowed through the room and teased Yugi's senses and was so beautiful that he just couldn't leave. He had to hear everything. He had to listen until the end of the piece, no matter how long it was. It was too fabulous to miss.

He sat down on the top row, closed his eyes and simply listened. The music pulled and tugged at his fantasies, creating the most spectacular scenes ever imaginable, almost like it told a story, and wanted to show exactly what it meant. Oh, if only he knew who it was, then he could ask the musician to play for him every day. He was a sucker for musical plays on the piano, especially if it was accompanied with a singer, with a voice to make his insides melt of sheer pleasure and happiness. To make his heart surge and his blood race, to calm his soul on the most stressful days: to sing for him and him alone.

Yugi hardly noticed the change of rhythm, how it calmed from a fast, improvised play to a steady beat, starting to form a melody, slow and sweet.

That was when he heard it, the most beautiful voice he'd ever heard. A calm, deep baritone voice, sensual and moving, started to sing to the sweet melody.

_Wash away the thoughts inside_

_That keep my mind away from you_

_No more love and no more pride_

_And thoughts are all I have to do_

He couldn't believe it. All he'd just asked for, was there, in one voice. Yugi felt giddy and light-headed, his heart raced like it had never raced before, and his cheeks flush. Oh god, he had fallen in love with a voice. A voice, whose owner he did not know the face of. But he didn't care. He wanted to hear more, he wanted to hear it all. Without realising, he'd stood up and made his way slowly, oh so slowly, down the stairs. He wanted a good look at the musician, whose voice was so entrancing and beautiful it could move even the coldest of hearts.

_Oo, remember when it rained_

_I felt the ground and looked up high and called your name_

_Oo, remember when it rained_

_In the darkness I remain_

Yugi had to sit down again. He couldn't disturb the man singing and playing the fabulous song. He didn't really listened to the words, he simply felt. Felt through the music the sadness of the musician. It moved him. It was both so fantastic and so sad that he could cry.

_Tears of hope run down my skin_

_Tears for you that will not dry_

_They magnify the one within_

_And let the outside slowly die_

Was it about a lost loved one? He sure was remembering when he the lost his mother. That wound had yet to heal properly. Though the song was dragging out the painful memory, it was soothing and healing at the same time. It shouldn't be possible. Yet, he could feel the pull in his heart and soul, the wrapping of the song surrounding his whole being and simply let him feel and only remember the good things of his mother.

_Oo, remember when it rained_

_I felt the ground and looked up high and called your name_

_Oo, remember when it rained_

_In the water I remain_

_Running down…_

The voice ceased, but the music intensified and continued its splendid melody, not about to stop.

Yugi was in total awe. It was euphoria to listen. He'd never believed that there could ever be such an amazing piece, created by _one_ man. He never knew there could be something so great, so perfect. Screw privacy, he had to know who the man was!

Practically shaking in anticipation, he managed to get on his feet, and again walk down the stairs to the stage. The piece had slowed, he noticed, and was sadder than ever. It didn't sound depressing, just sad. It hit straight into Yugi's heart, and suddenly, he wanted to be by the musician's side, to hold, to hug, to comfort. For the melody pouring out of the piano seemed to tell the musician's feelings, like he wanted to tell that "I'm here, I'm lonely, won't somebody see me? I am right here". Yugi walked even slower now, not wanting to startle the unknowing musician. Nearing the stage, he realised in horror that the music had stopped. Hurrying, he was at the bottom of the stairs in no time and with a few steps further up he could now see the piano, and prayed to every God there was that the musician hadn't left yet, and in a bit of desperation, said, "Hello?"

The reaction was immediate. Hidden behind the curtain Yugi heard a gasp, the scraping of a chair shoved away and a pair of running feet.

"No, wait, please!" Yugi called, and jumped up on the stage to follow the man. He did see a glimpse of a school-uniform and a schoolbag, running away to the backstage into the dark.

Yugi ran after him, but had to give up almost immediately. The student was already gone in the dark, and probably knew the place, so he would be able to hide from Yugi.

He groaned in annoyance. He was angry with himself. If only he hadn't called out before he could see the other boy. He was going to beat himself up over it for quite some time.

"Crud. I really know how to screw up," Yugi muttered, as he made his way out of the auditorium. Wasn't he supposed to get his book back? _Well, better do it now and get home. Though I have a feeling I won't be able to think about the schoolwork, at all_.

Stealing a glance to the piano, the voice resounded in his head and accompanied him as he walked to find the damned book.

At least now he knew it was a student at Domino High. But that was all he knew. Yugi hadn't even seen the face, not even the hair, so there would be nothing to go after, only the voice. And he didn't feel inclined to talk to every single boy in school to find him. Troubling, that thought. He would be seen as a weirdo. No, he'd just have to rely on his own sense of hearing and hope he'd come across the singer.

This sure had been an interesting day, and would be more interesting, if not more crazy, when he told his friends of the secret concert he had listened to after school time.

...

Kichiko: Well, there you have it.

Chrino: Not much really...

Kichiko: Well, it's a progress to the story, and that's what we want.

We don't own Remember when it rained. It belongs to the one and only Josh Groban. God, does he have a wonderful voice...

Chrino: Kichikoooo...

Kichiko: Sorry, sorry..

Chrino: I just want to say something. This piece might seem a little different from my other stories, but I did write this a long time ago, so it might seem – what's the word I'm looking for – simple. There are a lot of sentences starting with he. But somehow I couldn't really write this chapter all over again to make it better. I am kind of happy with it as it is. I'll try to write better during the next chapters.

Kichiko: Well, we'll see you guys later, hopefully. And hopefully we'll hear what you think of the story so far. It hasn't really revealed a lot yet, but that should change a little with the next chapter. Or was it the one after that? Hmm, too long since I've seen the details of the story, and Chrino isn't even sharing them with me! Oh well... I'll find out sooner or later.

So, until next time... :)


	4. Karaoke time

Kichiko: Thank you all so much for your sweet reviews! We are super duper happy to see that you want us to continue this story. And of course we will! It will be great.

Chrino: Says you. You aren't the one who has to do all the writing.

Kichiko: Oh, shush you. You wanted to bring this one out into the open, so no complaints.

We don't own Yugioh or its characters, nor do we own any songs used during this chapter. None of 'em. Capish? Nice. Now keep reading!

CLOSER TO YOU

Nearly two weeks had past since the last beating. Atem felt more presentable now that the bruises on his face had more or less faded. Yet, he was very reluctant to meet Yugi. Atem had avoided him the last few days, though Yugi had tried to make contact. In a sense, he was afraid. He knew that Yugi was the one who had called out to him in the auditorium. He had recognised Yugi's sweet angelic voice, but hadn't realised it before much later: at that moment he had panicked, thinking it was a teacher or one of the head-students. The latter would've given him to the teachers in a heartbeat.

But, those were the only times he had a chance to play the piano. It was kept well tuned, and had such a nice ring to its tones that he couldn't help himself. It was a grand piano, and he wasn't one to let the opportunity to play it get away, even if it meant breaking some rules. It wasn't that staying behind at the school was such a bad thing, but he was using the auditorium, and Atem was certain that it would count as bad. It was only once a week that there weren't any after-school activity. Besides, he had really needed it. He always felt so much better after playing for an hour or so, though he wanted to play for hours and hours to end. His father had also kept off his back, so it was a bonus. Weird as it might sound he was in greater spirits, thanks to the piano.

'Now, the only thing left to do is to talk to Yugi,' Atem thought, then huffed. Right. Since when had _he_ had the courage to walk up to Yugi, even less _talk_ to him? He wouldn't even know what to say. Perhaps it was meant to be that way. He hadn't seen Yugi all day. Perhaps he had given up on Atem. Why would someone so good and kind as Yugi bother with the likes of him? He was nothing. Broken and bruised, tainted and broke. He wasn't smart, he didn't have any talents: no friends nor family, and the family he did have he wished dead. What king of person did that, wanting his own father dead? Yet, that was how Atem felt. He couldn't change it. Just like he couldn't change his life, he couldn't change who he was, no matter how strongly he wished for it.

'What will Yugi ever see in me?' Atem thought sadly. 'I'm nothing. Just – nothing.'

Laughter brought him out of his reverie. At the nearest table were some fellow students, some girls, in eager discussion about some hot bloke at the school, he guessed.

Atem sighed tiredly. It was lunch, and it was raining, so he sat inside the cafeteria. Normally he would've found a spot in a corner somewhere with his lunch (if he had some to bring) or at the roof, to think. No one was ever there, and that suited him just fine. But not even he would want to sit outside in the pouring rain. He hadn't exactly brought a towel and an extra set of clothing with him. Today, Atem hadn't even bothered to find a lonely corner. He had simply sat down at the first table he'd come across.

Atem was so tired of hiding. But what else could he do _but_ hide? There was no way he would go tell anyone about his life at home, and no one suspected anything. No one would ever know, and he would never get anywhere in his life. He finally thought that he had neared the point of giving up. He wanted to give up completely on life, if something didn't change drastically, and soon.

"Atem-kun! Here you are!" said a cheerful voice to Atem's left, startling him. "I wondered if I would ever find you. You sure are a hard person to get a hold on."

Atem recognised that voice. That sweet, innocent, angelic voice of his secret love, Yugi. He'd forgotten all about him (an impossible and horrible thought), forgotten to make sure Yugi wouldn't find him. Turning slowly he saw Yugi's bright face smiling down at him. And fought hard to keep down his blush.

"Hello, Yugi-san," Atem managed to say, luckily without any stuttering.

"Hi there. Can we sit her? My friends and I," he added by Atem's questioning look.

"Oh, um – yeah, sure."

"Cool," Yugi said and sat down next to Atem, "they'll be here in a sec."

Atem forgot all about feeling miserable and being invisible. His heart raced and his mind was clouded. He wanted to say something but he found that his tongue was heavy and wouldn't form any words. Yugi-san was sitting right next to him! It was enough to pass out for. 'No, passing out is _not_ a good idea,' Atem thought, 'Yugi will laugh at me'. He found it best to keep it quiet, and wait for Yugi to say something. Hopefully he wouldn't make too great a fool of himself.

"Like I said, Atem-kun," Yugi said, after he'd waved over his friends, "you are a hard to get a hold on. If I didn't know any better, I would say you have been avoiding me."

"I haven't," Atem said a bit forcefully. Trying not to drift too far out so early on he added, "I haven't really avoided you. I was sick last week, and I had to stay home, and I still wasn't feeling too well when I came back to school, and didn't want to give you what I had." A bad excuse, in his opinion. If he could've banged his head into the table, then Atem would've done so. He feared been made a fool of, or thought of as crazy, so he refrained from it.

Yugi seemed to believe him though. His expression hadn't said anything else. "Yeah, you did seem rather pale when I first saw you again, but I wouldn't have worried. Most people don't know that they give their cooties to other people about two weeks before they even get sick themselves. My family doctor told me that. Though you can get sick very quickly, depending on the illness. But I don't think that I am going to bore you with how the human body works. There you are!" Yugi suddenly said to someone on Atem's right. "What took you so long? The queue wasn't that long."

Yugi's friends had just shown up, everyone with a tray of food, the tall boys with most, of course.

"Well, Jonouchi just _had_ to take a little detour to the men's room," the girl said – Atem believed her name was Mazaki – as they found their seats, and gleamed at the blonde boy, who flushed a little.

"You did not go by a certain classroom to see a certain teacher then?" Yugi asked and smiled teasingly.

"What are you talking about? I did no such thing." He glared at his friends, but there was a hint of red on his cheeks.

"Sure, whatever you say, Jono," the other boy said, clapping Jonouchi oh his shoulder, and then turned to Atem. "So, Atem, you are the one who saved Yugi, then?"

Atem, not used to being talked to by anyone but teachers, practically jumped in his seat when his name was mentioned.

"Um, sorry?"

"Yes, he is," Yugi answered for Atem, letting him calm down his racing heart – and not just because of the brunette – and turned back to Atem.

"I think an introduction is in order. Everyone, this is Takamori Atem. Atem-kun, these are my friends, Jonouchi Katsuya," Yugi pointed at the blond on his left, "Honda Hiroto," the brunette gave a little nod, "and Mazaki Anzu."

"You can call me Anzu," she said with a bright smile. "Those two prefer to be called by their surname. Just so you know."

"Oh, okay," Atem murmured. He didn't really know what to say. Here he was, surrounded by people he didn't know, sitting next to his crush: it was really hard to wrap his mind around it all.

"Hey, Atem, why don't you have any food?" Jonouchi asked out of the blue. Feeling very self conscious said boy only stared at the table. He didn't want for any of them to see the shame in his eyes.

"I, um, I didn't bring any."

"You could've bought something."

"I – forgot my wallet." He did bring it, but the wallet was more or less empty. Cheeks flaming in embarrassment and shame Atem felt like leaving. 'You really know how to impress people, Atem,' he thought sarcastically.

A soba bread was put in front of him.

"Here, have this. I have enough food." Yugi had given him the bread. Albeit a bit happy Atem couldn't help but protest, but Yugi wanted nothing of it. "You need the strength. Just take it. I owe you after all."

"You can have one of my drinks. Do you like plain soda?" Anzu piped up, already shoving the can to him, giving him no room to protest. She did have three different drinks in front of her, and Atem honestly couldn't say no when she, like Yugi, looked all too happy to share.

"Thank you very much," he mumbled before nibbling at the bread. It took a lot of will power to not chow it down. He had been living on ramen the last week or so, and the bread was the most delicious thing he'd had for a long time.

Atem took his time to really enjoy his meal, taking his time to really study Yugi at the same time, of course without being accused of staring.

The gang sat and talked about just everything, changing topic in rapid speed without using great effort to keep up. Seems these kinds of conversations were common when it came to these four friends. Atem didn't really listen. He was still in a sort of stupor; after all, he was sitting at the same table as Yugi and his friends.

"Hey, how about we go for some karaoke on Sunday? We haven't gone in ages!"

"Yeah, that sounds like an awesome idea. Atem-kun, you wanna join us?"

"Um, what? I'm sorry, I didn't quite listen..." Atem felt like an idiot. He had been too busy watching Yugi to pay attention to what they were talking about.

"You'll come, right?" Yugi asked. "Karaoke, Atem-kun, karaoke!" he said in excitement when Atem still looked puzzled. "It'll be fun. None of us can really sing so it will all be good."

"I-I am –" Atem started, but was interrupted by the rest of the gang who stated "All right, then its set! Let's say three at the usual place?" and then leaved the topic to talk about something else entirely.

"I'll explain where it is," Yugi said, who had seen the lost look on Atem's face. "It's really easy to find. And don't worry about the money. It's on me."

It would have been polite to thank him, but Atem had a sinking feeling that he had agreed to something he shouldn't have.

-o-O-o-

It was a fine day, if one just bothered to notice. The sun was covered by the clouds several times, but always came back strongly with its warm rays of light. It was a bit chilly, being windy and all, but not a problem if one had a light jacket or sweater. One out of two, and a very old one at that. Yet, Atem was shaking. It wasn't because he was cold; he had managed to find a usable sweater that was whole and looked somewhat nice. It was not in fright either. He always did in his father's presence. No, the reason Atem was shaking was simply because he was nervous. After all, today was Sunday, and today he was going to meet Yugi and his friends for some karaoke.

Atem had absolutely no clue how he was going to act in front of Yugi. Sure, they had spoken a few times, but the last time had been with his friends too, so he hadn't said all too much then. And being around Yugi made him stop thinking. Atem wouldn't have said yes to the karaoke had he been paying attention to the actual conversation instead of studying his love's beautiful face. He didn't want to be told on that he'd been on school property without permission playing the piano. Yugi was bound to recognise his voice when he sang. Then again, Yugi might not. But, then again, if he did and told his friends and one of them told a teacher, Atem would be in trouble. He really didn't want to get in trouble in school, because that would mean that his father would be contacted, and all Hell would break loose. It could never happen, ever. Atem would have to refrain from singing, but it would be tough. He really loved to sing, and honestly, he'd never been to a karaoke, so this was bound to be a great experience.

But Atem was afraid to sing in front of people. Playing an instrument was okay, but not singing. He didn't want to make a fool of himself, and if he did sing, and he got told on to the teachers that he was playing without permission in school… He couldn't think about it. Though, Yugi really didn't seem to be a person to rat out on people, only when there was great injustice involved. Atem had the same impression on Anzu. Jonouchi was a bit harder to place. He was more of a person to set things straight himself, Atem thought, if there ever were a problem. Honda seemed more a person to let things be, unless it included him or his friends. And Atem wasn't a friend. He was just someone who had saved Honda's friend.

Atem sighed sadly. Who was he trying to fool? There was no way he would ever become friends with the gang. Yugi, Jonouchi, Anzu, and Honda. They were such good friends. Atem had never seen them apart, nor have any other people in their gang. What made him think that a low-life like him, with no money, no friends, or any good qualities, would ever become friends with them?

Whatever confidence he had tried to build up disappeared. Maybe he should just go. It wasn't like he _wanted_ to go home. There was nothing waiting for him back home but a drunken father who didn't give a rat's ass about his only son. There weren't any homework to finish. There were no obligations, no chores or any duties to keep. No one was waiting for him. There was nowhere he was supposed to be.

A thought came to him. There was the small mall across the Town Square. And inside the mall were a music shop that sold guitars and drums and pianos. And those pianos were always well tuned. His fingers started to itch, wanting to fly over the tangents and play to his hearts contents. Atem could really need a session on the piano. And popping by just to play wouldn't be a bad thing either. Many people come to try the different pianos to find out which one they want. To drop by and just play wouldn't get him kicked out. In fact, the man who owned the shop enjoyed it when someone played the pianos, even if they only were there to play. He had told Atem so himself.

Atem was always happy when he played. He could let himself be free from the world for a few wonderful moments, and forget everything about the world. There existed nothing but him and his music: and he didn't want it any other way.

Feeling rather torn about what he should do Atem decided to wait for Yugi and his friends. They had invited him after all, and he could always drop by the mall tomorrow. It was Sunday and it was closed so his plans were ruined before he could do anything.

A soft laughter made Atem look to his right, the same direction he'd come from, and what he saw made his jaw drop.

There, some 20 meters away, came Yugi. And he was _not_ in his school uniform. God forbid that he wore the uniform on a Sunday. No, Yugi wore leather. Tight skin hugging black leather. He had an armless leather vest, revealing bare, toned arms. He had some muscles that he, seemingly, wasn't afraid to show. On his feet was a pair of leather boots over his tight black pants. The outfit revealed everything, yet hid it all.

Atem started to drool, his heart pounding like a pack of galloping horses, unable to tear hi eyes away from the beauty that was Yugi. God, was his little angel sexy! If he'd had any guts, Atem would have 'kidnapped' Yugi and take him to bed, or maybe just the nearest public bathroom, or anywhere away from prying eyes, 'cause God, he felt an arousal coming on strong! The thought was as frightening as it was exciting.

The mere thought of Atem being the one to take Yugi, to make love to him, made him flush. He managed to tear his eyes off Yugi, staring at the concrete instead, trying intently to calm down his raging thoughts and beating heart.

But as much as it excited Atem, it also disgusted him. How dare he think such an awful thought? How dare he consider such a sinful act, about his little angel? But, boy was Yugi a temptation in leather. What he wouldn't do to have Yugi all alone, all to himself, in a room with a big bed, lit candles, maybe some scented massage oils... Atem might be a romantic, but he was too shy to ever try it in the first place.

A loud honk of a horn brought Atem back to reality. He heard Jonouchi say, rather loudly, "Gee, what's with the noise?" and realised in horror that the gang were too close. And he was still semi erected.

Desperately, he tried to think of anything to make those bad thoughts go away. Anything, anything would do. He really didn't want the gang to see like this. That would be out most embarrassing and he would never hear the end of it. Then, it came to him, as both a relief and horrible realisation. A thought so horrible that it made all pleasant thought fly and his penis to simply wilt. His father, with the most dangerous face Atem had ever seen, giving his the beating of a lifetime and yelling the worst things he could ever say, when the day came that he found out that Atem, his son, was gay. Atem shivered again, this time in fear. If the day ever came that Takamori senior would find out this fact, he _would_ kill Atem on the spot. The shiver became shaking as fear started to take over his senses. Hugging himself as to try to calm himself, Atem realised that it was much harder than he first thought. If he'd ever feared his father before, he really feared him now.

"Atem, you're shivering. Are you cold? Did you wait long?"

Yugi's soft voice penetrated his dark thoughts, and in that moment, when Atem's eyes met the deep amethyst eyes of his secret love, nothing mattered anymore. All he saw was Yugi.

"No, I'm fine. Just a cold breeze," Atem said. To his relief Yugi seemed to believe him, as he smiled brightly.

"I really hope we aren't that late," he said, taking a look at his silver watch. It looked expensive. "It would be bad if you sat here for a long time."

"We're not late," said Jonouchi, a bit briskly. "We are actually early for once."

"Yeah, and that's not thanks to you," Anzu said dryly.

"What? It's my fault now? What did I do?"

"You just had to stop by that teriyaki shop."

"Well, I was hungry! You can't blame me, I'm a growing boy!"

"Both you _and_ your ego."

"Why you –"

"Guys! Stop it, please," Yugi said loudly. It got the others attention, and they looked a bit sheepish. "Sorry," they mumbled.

"You are always arguing. It's a bloody pain in the ass." Yugi looked at Honda, as to ask for support. Honda only nodded, arms crossed and looking serious. Both Anzu and Jonouchi seemed offended by this and turned to the brunette to give him a piece of their mind. Atem merely observed as this unfolded. Bickering in the group was nothing new to anyone. It was actually common knowledge that an argument can start even in the middle of a class, and Jonouchi was always one of the participants. His temper was well known and it was also common knowledge to keep away whenever he had a bad day.

The next thing Atem knew was that Yugi was dragging him along by his arm, and he chatted loudly about all the things they were going to do and how fun it would be, leaving the other three to follow them. Honestly Atem didn't pay attention to what Yugi said: he was too busy studying his look alike to listen to a single word. "I can't wait to get started. This is going to be so cool!" Yugi exclaimed with a big grin.

Atem couldn't help but smile at the childlike attitude. It was really nice to see this side of Yugi. He felt more excited about the day now, now that he was walking (or dragged along) beside Yugi, his love, his angel. His heart was pumping in 110, and the butterflies in his stomach fluttered to such an extent it was a wonder they haven't tried to escape yet.

This was when Atem truly realised his luck. He was walking beside Yugi. And Yugi was talking to him, smiling at him, touching him even! It was really a lot to take in all at once, so he let it slide so he could concentrate on one thing at a time. Who would have believed that Yugi, the popular kid, was talking to the likes of him, the biggest nobody at school? It was rather hard to believe, really.

This was when he noticed that Yugi was looking at him expectantly. Maybe he'd asked a question. And of course, Atem had not paid attention to what he _had_ said. He felt his cheeks tinge in embarrassment, diverting his eyes downward.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled apologetically. "I didn't pay attention." Atem did glance up, hoping intently that Yugi wasn't mad at him. To his surprise he still smiled.

"Oh, it's all right. No worries. I was just asking what kind of music you like."

That haltered Atem's thoughts. There really wasn't anything in particular he liked. The source of music he had was beaten old radio that only functioned when it suited it. It was one of the treasures he hid in his room, and one he would drag out from his hiding spot whenever his father left the house. Atem could spend hours listening to anything he came across, not having the chance to be picky at the radio picked up maybe three of four channels.

"Um, I don't prefer anything," Atem said after a little while. "I listen to anything."

"Oh. Well, what do you like to listen to, then? Do you listen to things like classical music, country, blues, jazz?"

"Anything I can come across." Which was also true. They owned a CP player before, and it was used a lot when Atem's father was out. But it was sold for alcohol money, along with many of the CD's. Luckily Atem had managed to store away some of them, mostly those that had been his mother's favourites. Some classic artists from his mother's homeland, and also some British orchestras. His love for classic music came from her, but he also really liked more modern music.

Yugi didn't seem to approve of the answer as he looked at Atem thoughtful. "There must be at least a band or an artist in particular that you like." He then laughed. Atem's heart raced again. "I'm sorry, but I just didn't find your answer satisfying enough."

"Nothing ever satisfies you," Honda said in a mocking voice from behind them.

Yugi shot a look over his shoulder. "So I'm curious. Sue me. Well, are there?"

A bit baffled, Atem did try to think of someone. "Elton John," he finally said.

"Really? Why?"

Struggling to find the words he wanted to say, Atem was silent for a moment. "Well, I guess mainly because of his music. He writes and composes a lot himself. With someone else though, but, well, I just like his music, the lyrics. He is a great pianist."

"Is he your idol then?" Yugi asked.

Atem blinked. "I can't say that he is, but I do like his music."

Yugi was about to comment when he was interrupted.

"Wow. He sure talks a lot to be a shy guy," Honda said as he came up on the other side of Yugi. Atem blushed.

"Yeah, he has yet to come out of his shell, but we are going to change that. Right, Atem?" Anzu said as she came up behind Atem. He blushed harder.

"Guys, leave him be," Yugi said and glared at his friends. Atem felt a little happy to see that Yugi was defending him.

"Ooo, defending your boyfriend, eh?" Jonouchi taunted, a wicked smile on his face.

Yugi gazed at him strangely, while Atem locked his eyes on the ground, determined to keep his blush down. He didn't want to give anything away that could be taken wrong way. Not that it could be taken the wrong way if they figured out his feelings for Yugi. But Atem didn't want for his feelings to be revealed just yet – if ever.

"My boyfriend?" Yugi asked.

"Yeah, boyfriend. You have to admit, walking around hand in hand kinda gives that impression on people," Honda said, grinning widely.

Both boys looked at their hands, and they were indeed entertwined in each other. Atem's blush came back at full force. How had he failed to notice that? Now Yugi would let go, and he hadn't even had the chance to enjoy it! But to his surprise, Yugi shifted his hand to hold Atem's more firmly, and said, "Yeah, and? Let them think we are a couple. I don't care."

"Maybe you don't, but he might," Anzu said. Atem knew that she had referred to him, and fought to keep his blush in check. Then he became aware of what she'd said. He dared to glance at Yugi. Atem had nothing against holding hands. The couple part even less. To be able to hold Yugi hand was something he had wanted for such a long time; he really didn't want to let go.

But Yugi did let go, to Atem's great disappointment.

"Well, doesn't matter if we do or don't, really," Yugi said, shrugging. "So, Jonouchi, about next weekend..."

Atem only half listened to the conversation. He was a little sad about not being able to hold Yugi's hand. Then he reprimanded himself for being so childish. It really wasn't that bad. His hand tingled from where Yugi's bare skin had touched him. It felt rather pleasant. But really, what would Yugi have thought of him if he knew of this childish behaviour? 'I should be glad that to just be able to be with him', Atem told himself. He was, honestly, but it had felt so good to simply hold hands. To feel a warm, firm hand in his. It was more than he could've ever hoped for from Yugi.

But now that he was able to bask in Yugi's presence, he wanted more. God, how he wanted! Atem wanted nothing more than to confess it all to his angel; his feelings, his dreams, his everything. He didn't have the courage though. No courage at all. If he'd had, if only just a shred of confidence, he wouldn't have been in this predicament. What was a seventeen year old boy to do with himself and his flaws?

Mulling so much in his thoughts Atem never noticed that he'd ended up as the back troop, or that the four friends were getting really excited about something. It wasn't before a shout of "incoming!" and the others running from the pavement that Atem realised that he hadn't even paid attention to where he was going.

The next thing he knew was that a huge truck drove past him, and that he was wet. The truck had driven into a big pool of water and drowned him in the process. The first thing that struck him was that it was strange, because it hadn't rained in days, so where had the water come from? The next thing that struck the wet boy was how stupid he must look. What would Yugi think of him, not even paying attention to the environment?

That was when he heard it. Laughter. They were laughing at him, the loser, the one drenched and looking pathetic. Atem just stood there, hanging his head and tried desperately not to cry. If there was he wouldn't do was cry. No way in hell was he going to show himself as a weakling, too.

The sound of running feet came closer to him, and he opened his eyes to see who it was, to see the face of the person who was going to mock him. In front of him stood Yugi, worry written all over his pretty face.

"God, Atem, I'm sorry. I should've warned you. You're all wet, poor guy. Come on, let's get you somewhere warm and get some other clothes." He dragged Atem to the car-wash nearby (it sure explained the water) where the others stood and was pushed into what he thought looked like a locker room. Yugi then pulled out some towels and gave them to Atem, telling him to dry off. "While you do that I'll go get some other clothes for you."

Surprised and confused, Atem did as told. When the other came back Atem had nothing on except the towel, and he blushed furiously. "Hey, there is nothing to be embarrassed over. We're both guys," Yugi said, obviously trying to cheer him up, yet this only made Atem blush even more. He was naked in front of the one he loved. Who wouldn't be embarrassed?

Yugi handed over a set of clothing. "I couldn't find anything than these trainer clothes but they should suffice for now. They aren't brightly coloured or anything so it should be good. We'll let your clothes hang here to dry and pick them up when it's time to go. All right?"

Atem just nodded, and gratefully took the clothes, watching Yugi leave the room to give him some privacy.

-o-O-o-

"Let's get this party started!" Jonouchi shouted as they walked into the karaoke booth they had rented.

"Calm down, now," Anzu said, as if talking to an over exited child. "The karaoke set isn't going to run away or anything."

"Don't start arguing again, please," Yugi said when Jonouchi was about to answer, probably something rude. "We're here to have some fun. And you really aren't making a good impression on Atem-kun. What might he think of you?"

"That this is what we always do. Come one, Yugi," Honda said, throwing an arm around his smaller friend. "We always act like this. He'll have to get used to it."

"Fine," Yugi sighed. "Well, how about we get started?" Everyone agreed to this, and soon an hour had gone by as the gang sang whatever song they felt like, even doing duets and group songs for the heck of it. While this was very entertaining – the boys couldn't really sing, so the entertainment lied in the rest – Atem did nothing but sit there and listen to them. It wasn't like e didn't want to, but he was afraid that Yugi would recognize his voice from that day in the auditorium. He was probably overreacting and worrying too much, of course, but he couldn't help it. That fear just didn't want to leave no matter how much he tried to reassure himself. So, instead of joining the fun he declined whenever they sand, told his throat hurt a little, and that he was fine just listening.

Deciding that a break for them all was a good idea, Anzu walked out to get some drinks and to add to their time at the karaoke. When she returned Jonouchi and Honda was trying to pressure Atem to sing.

"Come on," the boys taunted. "Afraid to sing one measly song? We can't sing even if our lives depended on it. You just heard us, it would make a screeching cat sound wonderful!"

"What they are trying to say," Anzu cut in, "is that it doesn't matter how you sound. You've heard us now, and we are horrible."

"You can at least hold the notes," Yugi said to the girl, who couldn't help but beam a bit at that.

"Yeah, well, I'm not the only one. Though Honda has it more in his fingers than his voice." Honda pretended to play a guitar, and from what Atem saw, he did truly seem to have it in his fingers. They moved as if from a familiar song.

Jonouchi shrugged. "If Atem doesn't wanna sing, that's fine. But that means he's a chicken."

"Jonouchi-kun..."

"No really, he is."

"Jono, even I wouldn't go as far as to call him a coward. Maybe he just feels uneasy about this whole thing," Honda cut in.

"I'm going to sing," Atem said. He didn't want to hear that he was a coward. That was what his father always called him and it bothered him that he couldn't even sing one song!

The gang looked very pleased at this. "Alright!" Anzu cheered. "Tell me the number of the song and I'll plot it in."

Nervously, Atem told her the number, and reluctantly stood up to pick up the microphone. The song started, one he knew very well, having heard it many times before. The song was called _Away from the sun_ by 3 Doors Down, and it reflected his life somewhat. So he thought it a suitable song to sing.

_It's down to this  
>I've got to make this life make sense<br>Can anyone tell what I've done  
>I miss the life<br>I miss the colours of the world  
>Can anyone tell where I am<em>

_'Cause now again I've found myself  
>So far down, away from the sun<br>That shines into the darkest place  
>I'm so far down, away from the sun again<br>Away from the sun again_

_I'm over this  
>I'm tired of living in the dark<br>Can anyone see me down here  
>The feeling's gone<br>There's nothing left to lift me up  
>Back into the world I know<em>

_And now again I've found myself  
>So far down, away from the sun<br>That shines into the darkest place  
>I'm so far down, away from the sun<br>That shines to light the way for me  
>To find my way back into the arms<br>That care about the ones like me  
>I'm so far down, away from the sun again<em>

As the song continued Atem found he sang with more confidence, and finally started to feel that it was actually very fun. Though he didn't really sing with his own voice; he was tweaking it and hardly showing any of its potential. When finished the gang clapped enthusiastically. He couldn't keep the blush away as he sat down, secretly happy for the applause.

"Wow, you really can sing!" Honda said.

"Oh, no. I'm not really –" Atem began.

"Seriously, Atem, take the praise," Yugi said. "When someone tells you that you are good at something it usually means that you are. Are you going to sing one more song?"

"Perhaps a little later," Atem said, not really feeling for singing, though happy that the others thought he sang well, despite not knowing that he had held back a lot.

Jonouchi took the microphone to sing a rock song from the 80s, which the others booed to. It was all in good fun of course; Jonouchi knew the others just played with him.

"So, Yugi, what's got you so thoughtful all of a sudden?" Anzu asked.

"I just – that sounded a bit familiar – when Atem-kun sang, I mean. No, a lot actually. But I can't think of where I might've heard such a voice before."

"Maybe that guy from the other day?" Honda teased, wagging his eyebrows at Yugi, who rolled his eyes.

"I knew I never should've told you guys about that," he said, exasperated.

"Hey, Atem-kun, did you know that someone had a small concert at the school auditorium? And Yugi just happened to witness this."

"Oh. No, I didn't know."

Of course he knew, but he didn't think that too many at school knew about this. He hoped not.

"How is he supposed to know? I was the only one there, and I haven't told anyone else about that that you guys," Yugi pointed out.

"He could know the guy who sat there that day," Anzu said.

"I don't know too many people," Atem blurted out. This little outburst caused the others to stare at him.

"Do you mean to say that you don't have any friends?" Honda asked.

Biting his tongue to prevent another outburst, he merely nodded, staring down at the table.

"Well, you have us now," Yugi said, resting a hand on Atem's shoulder to squeeze it gently. "That should count for something, right?"

"Yeah, I guess," Atem stuttered, trying to ignore the feel of Yugi's hand of how his heart pumped so incredibly fast. "But, do you really want me to be your friend?"

"Sure I do! Why wouldn't I?" Yugi beamed, and Atem all but melted on the spot. Luckily no one really noticed this as Jonouchi called out for his smaller friend to join him in a duet. Yugi was there in a flash, and soon their voices filled the room, a rather horrible sound, but no one really cared. This was all in good fun, and Atem was a part of it.

Friends. There was a nice ring to it that Atem had never heard before. Maybe because he hadn't had any real friends since long before he and his father moved to Domino City.

Friends. Yugi wanted him to be their friend. That thought spread a warmth through his body, and for the first time in a very long time, he smiled a truly happy smile, feeling happy for the first time in many years.

Kichiko: And that was chapter 3. I hope it was to your liking.

Chrino: And for those awaiting the next chapter of _Never gonna be alone_, please be patient! It's a tough one to write, but it will come... One day...

Kichiko: Yes! Good things comes to those who wait!

Chrino: But really. This is the time I should've had a beta, so I could get some help with the chapter. I swear my thoughts don't add up with what's written.

Kichiko: I'm sure you'll manage to stitch it together somehow. But yeah, a beta would've been superb...

Well, that was all we had for now, which was actually quite a lot. Stay tuned for the next chapter, whenever it may show up. Will happen quicker with the continuous flow of incoming reviews... ;)

Just saying... :P

Ja ne!


	5. An unexpected turn of event

Kichiko: Okay, so this took a whole lot longer to finish than we anticipated, and we're truly sorry for this. We wanted it up much sooner than we managed, and we totally understand if you all are mad at us...

Chrino: It was a pain to write, the thing just wouldn't cooperate with me. Funny thing is that when I finally got it done it was over twice as long, just because of this one scene! But I finally got into it and it's up.

Kichiko: The lovely Vanja-Deyja edited this chapter for us – bless her, she really is like our unofficial beta – so there shouldn't be any weird grammars and sentences and stuff. If there is, it's totally our fault. THANK YOU GIRL! YOU ROCK! :D

So no idle chitchat this time, only the hope that you all will like this chapter and that the wait wasn't too horrible...

We don't own anything! Not the characters (apart from those not part of the original story), whatever songs come along or any stuff like that, only plot. Capiche? Good, now read!

CLOSER TO YOU

Atem was glad it was weekend. It had now been exactly a week since the day at the karaoke, and he had some trouble with how things had progressed. There was the fact that he had more or less been accepted as an official member of the gang, something he was very happy for. To be able to be with Yugi without fear of being seen as a stalker was way more than Atem could have ever hoped for. Talking of everyday things and walking beside Yugi at school was just amazing. Hanging after school was even better, of course the gang never fell too far behind, but it didn't really matter to Atem. Jonouchi and the others seemed to think he was okay at least, so he didn't really mind – too much. He didn't even protest at Yugi constantly buying him food and drinks, treating him to games at the arcade, without any wishes of anything in return. It seemed that Yugi really wanted to do this and Atem, being as poor as he was, didn't have the heart – and certainly not the money– to go against Yugi's wishes. Any feeble protests fell on deaf ears anyway.

The thing he did mind was how awkward things were at school. Monday morning, after lunchtime, Atem felt eyes on him, like he was being watched. It didn't take him long to understand why. After all, he had befriended the infamous gang that never took in any new members for any reason – not that Atem knew why – and it had been like that since they all started high school.

It was very uncomfortable, knowing that he, the more or less invisible boy, was suddenly on display just because Yugi had called out for him to come join him and the others at lunch. Atem felt weird and vulnerable, exposed to the critical eyes of the entire student body. He never mentioned any of this to Yugi. He didn't think it was necessary. There was nothing Yugi could've done after all.

So, Atem tried to ignore it all and just try and be happy to spend time with his secret love.

When he was home however, it proved to be difficult, especially when he now feared for his life more than ever.

When he came home Sunday evening Atem's father had smacked him around for being late home but hadn't done more than that. It never struck Atem as odd at first, as he was too happy to let his father scare him, but as the next few days came he saw what he had failed to see before; his father was sober.

Sunday he had still been influenced by the alcohol and had for some reason not beaten his son to pulp as he usually did when Atem failed to do as he had told him to. But now he had been sober for a few days straight and that never bode well. A drunken father was a dangerous one, mean and violent. A sober father was terrifying, cunning and smart, and lethal at best. Sober meant no money for alcohol and no alcohol meant that his full anger would be unleashed on anything he could take his frustration out on, and that would mean his son.

Atem knew this all too well and made sure to be home at such times that he would be out of danger. It had kept him out of danger for the time being, though he sometimes heard the man mutter darkly and heard his own name occasionally. It worried him, but he didn't dare try to listen in on what the man said in case he was caught.

But on Thursday he did go out with the gang to Burger World, this time with a tiny bit of money in his wallet, because Yugi had invited him and also because he needed to get away from the house and his father for a little while. The man was supposed to be away for the afternoon so Atem took this as a sign to get out and have some time to himself. Atem had a great time but at a great price. When he got home his father was waiting, smacking him around and spitting such cruel and hateful words that Atem couldn't say anything in his defence. Whatever happiness he had felt crumbled away into nothing, and there wasn't anything that would improve his mood; he was too far down for that.

Atem had to stay home the next day, the pain too great to move. Day after that he was just reluctant to attend classes at all. He wasn't really sure why but the thought of hanging around Yugi made him all the more conscious of the bruises spread all over his body, some new and some that had yet to fade. Skipping class would be bad as they had a huge test and missing it would only cause him trouble. In the end, Atem didn't go to school, deciding he wanted the whole weekend to recover, and hoped that Yugi wouldn't drop by for a surprise house call. That was the last thing he needed; for Yugi to find out and decide to do something about it.

If anyone were to tell social services he would most likely be put in foster care as he didn't know if he had any family in England or Italy, sent around from home to home, and not even in Domino. It would mean that Atem would probably never see Yugi again, at least not for a few years. Two years would mean that Yugi would forget all about him. Atem was certain of that. After all, he, Atem, wasn't anything interesting, or cool, or popular or anything. All he was to Yugi was a pity case, he was sure of that. Yet he took advantage of it. How else was he to spend any time with his love if he didn't grab the opportunity in front of him? How could he say no to that beautiful face, to the gentle person that was his secret love?

He could, and he should. What he had with Yugi was great, but he wanted so much more. Each and every time he was around Yugi his heart would pump faster, his cheeks would flame up and he lost all thought. How Atem had managed to keep a normal conversation without making the biggest fool of himself was a miracle in itself. He wanted to be in a relationship with Yugi, there was no denying that. But that would never happen. This could only end in heartache yet Atem couldn't muster the will to change the ways of his heart. Because he had no one to love and no one who loved him, so even friendship would be enough for the moment, but for how long?

To have someone to love and who loved him in return was all Atem dreamed of. He didn't want to be alone anymore. He was used to it but it wasn't okay. How was being alone okay in any way?

He guessed it was just how it was going to be, to live his life alone. Who wanted to be with a scrawny brainless kid like him anyway?

Atem doubted himself again. It wasn't anything new; it was practically a daily routine. Mulling over all the things going on in his head and trying to sort it out, trying to figure out what he wanted to do with his life, but his insecurities killing all his ideas, telling him he wasn't good enough, that he was just a no one that no one wanted.

And he wasn't anyone in particular. No one had to tell him that.

-o-O-o-

For some odd reason lying on the floor was relaxing, the kitchen floor in particular. There was something about the weird splattered paint pattern on the roof that made him stare at it for hours to end, letting his thoughts roam freely. That was where he lay that Sunday afternoon. His father was thankfully out so he didn't have to hide in his room.

He came to think of the day at the karaoke. It had been a lot of fun, though scary to sing in front of the gang. The song he sang came to mind. Away from the sun: In the darkest place where the sun reaches down to show him the way out. That sun was Yugi. He was the only reason Atem had to live for. The only thing he could think of.

"_It's down to this  
>I've got to make this life make sense<br>And now I can't tell what I've done_

_And now again I've found myself  
>So far down, away from the sun<br>That shines to light the way for me_

_And now again I've found myself  
>So far down, away from the sun<br>That shines into the darkest place  
>I'm so far down, away from the sun<br>That shines to light the way for me  
>To find my way back into the arms<br>That care about the ones like me  
>I'm so far down, away from the sun again<em>_"_

His voice resonated from the walls. That was also a reason why he liked the kitchen, the acoustic of the room sounded good: well, better than most of the other rooms in the house, and there weren't that many.

Atem loved to sing. There were so many songs that related to him, and singing them made him feel, not better, but that somehow, the writer of the songs knew how he felt, and had written them just for him. Silly, he knew, but it really helped on the worst days when only music could lift his spirits.

Without really thinking it he began singing another song he'd heard, one by the band Bon Jovi, one which the chorus had really struck him, clinging to him as if the absolute truth. Because it was.

"_I'm gonna live  
>I'm gonna survive<br>Don't want the world to pass me by  
>I'm gonna dream<br>I ain't gonna die  
>Thinking my life was just a lie<br>I wanna give  
>I'm ready to try<br>Willing to lay it on the line  
>I wanna be loved<em>

_I ain't gonna cry  
>I don't wanna scream<br>But I got so much left unsaid inside of me"_

Yes, there was a lot unsaid inside of him. That was why Atem wrote his songs, that was why he composed his music, to have an outlet for all the things he wanted to say, that he needed to say, but couldn't.

To be able to voice his pain, his misery, how he dreamed of having a better life than this. To say what he wanted, when he wanted, without the fear of someone smacking him for it. To tell the one he love just how he felt. Now _those _were dreams. And none of them were ever to come true.

Miserable by his own trail of thoughts Atem fell back down on the floor, trying to get a grip and stay calm. Humming a tune from a melody his mother used to sing to soothe him to sleep, thoughts of graduation came to mind. The day when he was finished with high school he could leave. He didn't have to go to college, just finish high school and move as far away as he could come, find somewhere to live and someplace to work. It would be good enough for him. The most important thing was to get away, to leave this man holding him in a tight grip. It wouldn't be hard: all he had to do was grab what little possessions he owned, bring it on the day of graduation and take off as soon as he could. He sighed sadly of the prospect of having to wait for almost two years before that time. Two years. That was a long time. Atem might not even survive that long, knowing his father's temper.

The smart thing would be to leave now, while he was alive and well, but where would he go? Finding a place to live would be impossible and there was no way that anyone would hire him. A scrawny kid like Atem wasn't exactly work material. Besides, working besides going to school wouldn't be easy, and there was homework and tests and exams to worry about too. So, his options were to drop out of school, find a place and work and not do anything else with his education or, stay where he was, finish high school and hope that he survived long enough to see it happen. If so, then his best chances would be to find a job and just start working, as far away from his father as possible.

It wasn't that Atem hadn't thought about college. He had, several times. He had even looked at colleges, what kind of degrees they had and knew of a few that he would love to attend but he hadn't the money for it and he doubted that he would get a scholarship. Maybe because he didn't have any financial means of his own but that didn't have to mean a scholarship would be given to him. Someone with no talent and grades that were only so-so would surely not get any support.

Groaning in defeat Atem decided that he wouldn't think about it for the time being. There was still two years left of high school so he would worry about it later. Besides, all the thinking had made him hungry. Hungrier, he supposed, as he hadn't had a proper meal the last few days. Atem wondered briefly if there was any food at all in the house. It wouldn't be the first time the cupboards were empty of all things edible; the fridge too. He was about to get up to see if he couldn't find anything to eat when he heard a small sound.

At first he thought that it was only a sound made by the wind. The house was rather fragile and would creak a lot. This time, however, it sounded like someone had stepped on a very fragile plank that groaned in protest to the weight it had to endure and, if that was the sound Atem thought he distinguished, there might be trouble if he was seen in the kitchen.

The creaking sounds came closer. It seemed like it came from the living room. If that was the case then Atem could easily slip up to his room without being noticed. He was just about to make a move when he heard the movement stop, the last audible sound dangerously close to where he lay.

"Are you singing, you little shithead?" A rough voice said, calm yet edgy, rasping the words. Atem, startled and scared, quickly sat up from his position on the floor to look at the man staring down at him. A man slightly taller than him, with short messy magenta hair and cold black eyes stared at his son, that wild look in his eyes frightened the son in his spot. He knew that look all too well. It was one of those rare moments when his father was just a little buzzed and desperate for more alcohol. With no beverages in the house and no money to buy any he was beyond being reasoned with. His frustration would show by taking it out on the only person in the house other than himself. And that was what Atem feared the most.

"I asked you a question boy. Are you singing?" Nodding meekly in response caused the tall man to laugh roughly. "So, my son is a little singer? Not very manly is it? Not just that, he's also small and scrawny, like his mama. You wouldn't happen to be gay too, now would you?"

Atem didn't say anything. The best way to get away from any situation involving his father was to keep his mouth shut and this was not the time to tell the truth. If his father ever found out that he actually was gay he would be dead. No questions asked.

This time, however, it hadn't been the right move. The man looked at him, his expression completely unreadable, the mouth twisted into a sneer.

"You do know what they say about those not answering a question? It means you consent. Sure suits you, being a little queer," he said, sounding sincerely nonchalant, but Atem could see the calculated look in his eyes, the contempt, the hate and disgust. There was no way out of it, that much Atem knew, but it wasn't the beating that scared him, or the snidely remarks. Never had he seen the man so calm, so composed, like the calm before a storm. That was what Atem feared would come, the tornado, that would decide the outcome of this brawl and his life.

"What a useless kid," his father spat, giving such a knifing stare Atem felt like he was being cut up from the inside. "Not much to you is there? You're such a stupid little boy who can't even do the simplest thing, like get me money. The only good thing about you is the childcare support but even that'll end soon. You're too old to get a single yen for me. Do you realise what that means?"

Indeed he did. If he was implying what he thought it was then it meant that Atem was of no worth to him. This he already knew, hearing it so many times it was imprinted in his head, along with all the other hurtful things that he could never forget, constantly ringing inside his mind.

"I have been thinking lately," the man said, quietly, almost to himself. "This isn't really the ideal life. No substantial income sure makes it hard to live for two people, let alone one... So, that means that it comes down to two things." The father held up a hand, showing two fingers, "one: you are of absolute no use to me, and disposable, which would suit me just fine. Two: you could be useful to me, earn your right to live, and not be a nuisance. Which means," he grinned a wicked smile that made Atem shiver, not wanting to hear what that option was, "that you will be my little sex toy put up for the market. This way, I'll get the money I need, and you'll stay alive. Sounds like a fair deal?"

Atem tried desperately to understand what the man had said. Never in a million years had he ever thought that his father could be such a cunning and evil man, to give his own flesh and blood such a fate as he had proposed. How was him staying alive but in constant pain and fear of whoever was going to rape him next a fair deal? The life Atem had now was even to be preferred over _that_.

Part of him tried to reason that not even his own father would do something so horrible but_,_ the other part of him, the frightened and scarred side that would never forget the pain that had been inflicted on him all those years screamed for him to run, to get away from this dangerous man. He couldn't. Atem knew that he would never get away. He had never been quick on his feet but the thought of being taken by all kinds of men just so his father could make money of him? No, it could never happen, Atem wouldn't let it. He would rather die than become his father's little whore.

But how was he to escape? The only way out was behind the man and doing so was impossible. The only way would be to lure the man in to the living room and distract him long enough to rush past and to the door. It sounded so foolish to Atem he wanted to laugh in defeat but he had to try. If there was any way to run to his freedom he would take it.

"Why so silent?" His father leered. "Cat got your tongue? Well, we can't have that. You need to answer. I'm not a patient man and you know how I hate waiting. So what will it be? Will you be a slut and be useful, for once in your pathetic life, or do you want to do me the honour and die?"

Atem didn't answer at first knowing that his answer would seal his fate. Any of the outcomes would he horrible, but the latter would at least put him out of his misery, no matter how much his whole being demanded to stay alive. His life wasn't much to live for but he didn't want to die. Not yet. He had to fight for once.

"None." It came out so low that even Atem wondered if he had said it at all. The shocked expression he received was answer enough; he'd heard.

"None?" the man whispered, eyes twitching; never a good sign. "None _what?_ You need to be more specific _son_." The word was spat in such distaste that Atem flinched but he did give his response.

"None of them." He whispered, fear coursing through his veins, not sure what kind of reaction to expect from the one almost hovering over him.

"None of what?" The man drawled, almost childlike.

"I don't want to die; I don't want to be a sex slave," Atem said, his voice very low, but it sounded clearly in the silent room.

"That's a shame," his father grunted, rubbing his chin in thought. A hand reached to the back pocket of his tattered and worn out jeans, pulling something out. It flashed in the light from the sun. "I guess I have no other choice but to chose for you," he said, and pointed a small gun to the boy's head.

Atem froze. How in the world had he managed to get a hold of a gun? They had no money – that was what this was all about – so the purchase was impossible. So where had he gotten it from?

Eyes widened as a thought struck him. Many a times had he heard his father say in his drunken stupor how he would rid of Atem the way he had his mother. Was that perhaps how he'd done it? Shot his mother and kept the gun for all this time?

It sickened him. Knowing that the man had kept the gun for all these years was just too much to think about. Yet it was ironic in a way; he was meeting the same fate his mother had. Had she been staring at the gun like this too or maybe she had no idea that she was to be killed? Which was it? Had it happened differently? Atem was desperate to know but dared not ask. He would most likely get his answer; his father would probably gloat over it. Even so, the fact alone that this was the weapon that killed his mother was enough. At least he now knew.

Unable to move Atem could only watch as the gun was pointed at his head, the holder grinning like a maniac, all too glad to finally rid himself off his offspring.

Something that Atem had long forgotten was how much he had loved his father. There had been a time when the man was his world, his idol, and had loved his son so dearly he hated being apart from him. Memories long lost came now rushing forward. It hurt knowing that the one he had called father all these years hated him for merely existing.

Hateful eyes watched the boy. He didn't know what he was thinking. All he knew was that it wasn't anything good.

This was it. This was the moment that he was going to die. As much as he wanted to fight it he was petrified to the spot. He was going to accept it. There wasn't anyone that would miss him, and he hadn't accomplished anything, so it wasn't like he left anything behind.

Memories of Yugi came to mind, the few and precious moments they had together, even if Atem had never told the other how he really felt for him he was glad to have had the chance to get to know him, to be close to the wonderful, kind and caring boy; it was more than he could've ever asked for.

Briefly he wondered if Yugi was going to miss him. Would he notice it when Atem didn't come to school anymore? Was he going to bother to find out why if he did? It would've made Atem happy but by that time he would be long gone, dumped somewhere where no one could find his dead body. No, he would most likely be forgotten by the world, and by Yugi. It was okay. It wasn't like anyone loved him anyway...

Closing his eyes he awaited to fall into the eternal darkness that awaited him. He heard his father mutter, in great glee, "Good bye," and then...

Click.

Nothing happened.

"Fucking piece of shit," the man muttered.

Barely daring to Atem glanced up. He was still alive. The gun had not worked. If it didn't work then perhaps he could get out of this alive. It sure was worth a try.

Atem knew he only had this one chance and he took it. He sprang up, ran to the living room. Foolish, he knew. The gun would do the job no matter how fast he ran. Yet he hid behind the large shelf in the nearest corner. He had to try and escape. He wasn't going to take it like a death sentenced dog.

"Running won't do you any good," the rough voice called from the kitchen, "it would be better if you just accept it like a man. Just sit tight and let the bullet do the job. It'll be quick and painless, I promise. Trust me."

Trust a man with a gun in his hands? Not likely.

Atem held his breath. He dared not move. Giving away his position would surely be the death of him. His heartbeat was beating so loud he was certain it could be heard.

The man howled in rage at the lack of response, stomping after the boy into the living room. Daring a peek Atem saw the unabashed fury and anger on his face, saw the determination in his eyes. He was going to kill Atem that much was clear. Nothing else would stop him. No one could stop him.

"Where are you, you fucking little runt? Piece of shit, trying to hide from me, are you? Bitch, I'll catch you, and when I do you'll wish you were dead!"

That didn't sound good. If it meant what Atem thought it meant, it was pain. Worse than anything he'd ever experienced in all his life and he'd already had his share of it. He was scared as hell. He didn't know what to do. Whatever he did nothing good would come out if it, Atem knew this very well, but he was damned if he was going to sit tight and wait to be found. He wasn't going to go through any more hell from the man if he could help it.

The man cursed loudly, trashing the room in his tirade while looking for the one responsible for his anger. With all the racket he was making he might notice Atem sneaking out. He finally saw his chance. The back was turned to him at last. He made a mad dash back to the kitchen and toward the entrance. A growl was heard and running footsteps followed him. Damn it. An ear piercing bang erupted from the gun. Pain seared through his left arm. He'd been hit. Blood rushed from the wound, staining his white sweater. The impact wasn't great, but it caused Atem to trip and slam his wounded arm against the wall, falling to the ground. An arm grabbed him from behind and turned him around to once again be face to face with the weapon.

Panic soared through his body, the adrenalin kicking in with full force, barely registering the gun in his vision, his father leaning over him, how he tried to fight the man off him. The next thing he knew was another loud bang and more blood. His blood... no, Atem hadn't been hit, but why was there so much blood? Where did it come from?

A fearful glance told him: on the floor lay his father, eyes closed, blood pouring out at an alarming rate.

For a moment Atem didn't understand a thing. He'd been staring at his own death. How come the other man was the one who had been shot? Was it ... his doing? Had he really killed his own father?

No, it couldn't be true. It hadn't ... he wasn't ... a murderer?

Fear rushed through him, panic told him to run, and so he did. Atem ran as fast as he could, out of the house and down the road, still unable to believe what had happened, what he had done. It just wasn't possible that it had happened. How could it? It was just too awful.

He had no track of time as his feet took him to wherever. He didn't know where he was going. All he knew was that he had to get away as far away as he possibly could. Lounging out as fast as he could, out of breath and tired as he'd ever felt, Atem ran down streets and past startled people who gazed curiously after him probably wondering why he ran like the devil was after him.

It might as well have been the devil itself the images too real and too clear in his mind. Trying to shake them off by running was a foolish idea, but he couldn't stay, had to get away. To where, Atem didn't know, he just knew that the further away the better.

Rounding a corner he slammed against someone and fell to the ground with an _'oomph'._ Trying desperately to catch his breath, Atem looked up to apologise to whoever he'd run into. His heart almost stopped when he saw just who it was: Yugi. Well, per say it was Honda he'd crashed into, but he had only eyes for Yugi. Why him? Why now? Yugi would ask all sorts of questions and then the truth would come out. Atem couldn't let that happen. He didn't want his secret love to know the horrible thing he'd done. How he was a broken and stained boy – a murderer – who didn't deserve to live...

"Oy, Atem, you need to watch where you're going," Honda said irritably, dragging Atem up from the ground. "You just be glad it was me you rammed into. It could've been a thug or something."

"Honda-kun, calm down," Yugi said. "It's not like you got hurt or anything. If anything it's Atem-kun who would be bruised by slamming into a brute like you."

He looked serious enough but Atem could hear the humour in his voice. It calmed him greatly to hear that sweet voice, though, he still shook from the exertion of the running. Yugi turned his attention to Atem, frowning as he took in his form.

"Atem-kun, are you alri-" Then he gasped. "Oh my god, is that blood? What happened? Are you hurt? Answer me Atem-kun!"

He couldn't answer, still trying to catch his breath, still trying to wrap his mind around everything, trying desperately not to lose it.

But the deep red shirt Anzu wore only reminded him of the sight back at home, of all the blood seeping out of the motionless body, staining the floor in the process.

Atem couldn't deal with it anymore. His body finally reacted to the weakness and wariness and pain his body had already taken, the incident had only amplified it, making it all too much. He collapsed where he stood, falling unconscious, barely registering the startled shouts of the gang standing next to him.

Kichiko: Haaah... never thought we would get this chapter done to be honest. So since it is, please tell us what you think! We really need to hear your opinion of this chapter, and the story in general. Will help us know if this is something we should absolutely continue. Cause we will if you want us to ;)

Chrino: Review please. Will be very, very happy if you do. And the next chapter will most certainly come quicker the better response we receive.

Kichiko: Wow, demanding aren't we?

Chrino: No, just telling the truth.

Kichiko: *laughing* If you say so girl.

We'll see you all in the next chapter. In the mean time, leave a note! We are open to all responses, though flamers will be used to warm our frozen feet ;)

Bye peeps! :D


	6. A familiar face

Chrino: Chapter 5 finally up! That took a while didn't it? Inspiration was just simply gone so it was seriously hard to work on it at all. But it's up now, with a few grammars and wrong spellings though it shouldn't really be a problem.

I hope you enjoy this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it – despite all the trouble it gave me – and that you'll tell me what you think of it afterwards.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the plot and my own character. The end.

CLOSER TO YOU

Yugi rushed over to Atem, rolling him on his back to quickly check his injuries. All he could tell was that there was a deep wound on his left arm, a lot of blood covered the front of the sweater, and that his feet were scraped up. The boy had been running on his bare feet. What on earth had possessed him to run out without taking on his shoes?

"Crud, this looks bad. Help me get him to my place," Yugi asked his friends as he checked Atem's pulse while trying to locate the deeper injuries. He received no confirmation. Quickly looking at the others he saw the indifference and perhaps a tiny bit disgust emitting from them. "I would really like you to help me get him home."

"Let's just leave him," Honda waved. "Someone's bound to find him, bring him to a hospital."

"He needs help _now_," Yugi insisted.

"I don't see why it must be us," Anzu said darkly. "It's bad enough that you included him in our gang..."

"Not this again." Yugi cursed under his breath. He knew the gang had been reluctant to let Atem be with them but they hadn't really said anything against it in a while. Yugi had a silly hope that it was okay. Being silly and naive were his bad traits and he needed to change that. "Seriously, if you don't drop your fucking act and help me get Atem to my place –"

"Look man, it's not that we don't like him," Jonouchi defended if only half heartedly, "it's just that we don't get why you included him. What's so special 'bout him anyway? And don't give us some bullshit that it's only 'cause he saved ya back then."

"It's not," Yugi said through gritted teeth." I don't know why, okay? Let's discuss this later, just help me for now. Please."

Honda finally relented, muttering "fine, fine, I'll take him" and proceeded to carefully lift Atem in his arms. Jonouchi moved forward to locate the smaller boy on his back instead. While they did so Yugi whisked out a cell and pressed a number, a dial tone confirmed it was ringing and he waited impatiently for an answer.

"Yes?" a brisk woman's voice said. She sounded awfully tired.

"Chiko! It's me. I've got to ask your help."

"What?"

"A friend of mine just collapsed, he's covered in blood. I need you to help him!"

That seemed to stir her interest as she responded "Blood? Where are you?"

"Some twenty minutes away."

"Alright, I'll be ready when you arrive."

Shutting his phone Yugi said briskly, "Let's go."

Atem finally came to just as they arrived at Yugi's home. He stirred from his position on Honda's back, muttering incoherently.

"Atem-kun, you're awake!" Yugi said, happy to see he was conscious again. The blood loss couldn't have been that severe then.

"What happened?" Atem said, eyes a little unfocused.

"You collapsed," Yugi said gently.

"I did?"

"Yeah. You ran into us, remember?"

"I-I think so," Atem mumbled then he paled drastically.

"What is it?"

"N-nothing," Atem dismissed shakily, but Yugi didn't buy it. He let it be for now and knocked on the door, letting the doctor know they had arrived.

"Get him inside," a woman's voice said briskly through the door.

"What's going on?" Atem asked quietly as Honda put him gently down on the floor.

"Since you collapsed and are covered in blood I thought it best that you were examined."

"But I'm not hurt," Atem protested, though it sounded automatic. Yugi didn't believe him; he could see the bruises on his face and the hand marks on his throat. Something had happened, that was for sure. Apart from the blood he was covered in something else had most certainly happened and he wanted to know what.

"Then where did all this blood come from?" Anzu said.

Atem didn't answer, finding the floor very interesting and plucking at his sweater. A nervous habit he had. Yugi had noticed that he would fickle with anything at hand when he was uncomfortable and feeling out of place.

The door slid open revealing a woman in a knee length black dress and a white doctor's coat. She was about a head taller than Yugi, with long brown almost black hair draped in a high ponytail and kind face that smiled reassuringly to Atem. "It's alright," the doctor said in a very gentle tone. "You can come with me and I'm just going to take a look at you to make sure you aren't hurt in any way. Does that sound okay?" Reaching out a hand for him to take, she gestured for him to follow her.

After a moment Atem raised his head, looking at the woman in front of him. He must be wary of her, Yugi thought. He was at first when with us, of course he would not trust Chiko easily either.

Violet eyes suddenly lit up in recognition, and he looked hopeful, almost frightened that what he saw wasn't real. "Kichiko-san?" Atem whispered. The gang gaped at him. Did he know Chiko? How was that possible?

She studied the boy for a moment, wondering how he knew her name. Then she gave a gasp herself, a hand rising to rest on her chest above the heart. "Atem?" she said, apparently not really able to believe that she saw what she did.

Atem's eyes filled with tears, his body relaxing in relief and he ran toward the still shocked woman, hugging her tightly. He began babbling quickly in what Yugi believed was Spanish. The boy looked so small for a moment, crying his heart out to Kichiko who finally came to and wrapped her arms around him. She responded in the same language, an expression of absolute joy spreading across her face, as if Atem was the long lost son finally returning home.

Yugi tried to understand how Atem and Chiko could possibly know each other. Chiko had been their family doctor for as long as he could remember, and from what he knew Atem wasn't originally from Domino, though he didn't know for sure. In all the time he'd known her Yugi had never seen Kichiko as happy as she was now. Why was that? Why was Atem so special?

The four friends shuffled closer to the two still hugging tightly, just about to start firing question when Chiko set a stern don't-deny-me look.

"You, out," she suddenly commanded to the gang, whom didn't seem too eager to leave; Yugi least of all. Here he'd just found out that Atem knew Kichiko, and he wanted to know why. But before anyone of them could protest she gave them a glare that told them exactly what she would do if they didn't obey. Grumbling Yugi and the others turned on their heels and stalked out, slamming the door shut behind them.

They didn't walk far though. Jonouchi fell against the wall and slid down it, Honda only stared at it after shrugging out of his bloodstained jacket, Anzu leaned against the wall, arms crossed, and Yugi started pacing. He couldn't understand any of it. How was it possible that Atem knew Kichiko? She had been the family doctor for as long as he could remember. Just where had they met?

"Hey, Yug'," Jonouchi said. "Did ya know that they knew each other?"

Numbly he shook his head, gazing at the door, wondering what other secrets Atem hid.

-o-O-o-

"Oh, Atem, I can't believe you're really here! It's like a miracle," Kichiko gushed happily, smiling widely as she took the boy in. Atem couldn't stop the blush from her staring, though he too smiled just as big as she.

Kichiko had been a good friend of their family many years ago, and his mother and Kichiko had been the closest. One could say that they were as close as sisters; they could always share everything with each other, nothing too embarrassing or too bad to tell. Many evenings had been spent in the living room with idle chatter and stories from their home countries – Annetta from Italy with roots from Great Britain, Kichiko from Spain – laughter filling every corner of the room. Atem would often sneak in to listen to them and almost every time he was spotted. Sternly his mother would tell him to go to sleep but Kichiko would manage to convince her to let him stay up a little longer. He remembered all the funny things she did; she always made him laugh. She would play with him, teach him Spanish, help him pull harmless pranks on his parents as she was quite the trickster.

What he remembered most was how kind she was to everyone, just like his mom, how she emitted safety and calmness, despite her rough and wild attitude. She was a woman one could confide in, who you could trust. He knew he could trust her even after all these years. The happiness he felt over seeing her again was almost overwhelming. Knowing that there was someone in this world left he considered family was more than he could ever ask for.

"I can't believe it either. I never knew..."

"Well, I did move before I lost all contact with your family so it isn't any wonder. You were just 6 years at the time too. I'm surprised that Annetta didn't mention to you that I moved to Domino though. She did promise to keep me updated on how you all were. The contact just ended all of a sudden."

The smile vanished at the mention of his mother. Kichiko didn't know that she was dead. She didn't know what had happened to her.

The woman instantly noticed the change. "Sweetheart, what did I say? What's with the sad face?"

"I..." Atem tried, but his voice cracked. He couldn't even say out loud the tragedy that occurred so many years ago. He was weak. Somehow she seemed to grasp what had happened anyway for she asked "Did something happen to her?"

Nodding solemnly he could feel tears building up. Brushing them away before they would dare to fall Kichiko had caught on. Her hand rested over her heart again as she looked devastated and sad.

"She is dead. Oh goodness me. If I'd known..."

"You couldn't have. You lost contact so..." Atem said dully never finishing his sentence. What was he to say, that it was her fault that mum was dead? It wasn't like she could have done anything about it. _But she could've taken you in_, a small voice said chidingly. _She could've_ _taken you away from your father and been your family instead_. Shaking his head to rid himself of those thoughts he said, "It's okay. There was no way that you could have known."

"I still feel bad about it that I wasn't there for you, or your father." She heaved another gasp. "Oh, Shiro! How did he take it? He loved her so much he must have been devastated."

"I wouldn't say that," Atem said before he could stop himself.

"You wouldn't say what? You speak riddles."

Atem clamped up, refusing to say another word. He couldn't tell her. Kichiko had such high opinion of his parents that telling her what had actually happened would devastate her. Not to mention what he had gone through the last years. No, she could not know. He didn't want her to know the awful truth about his childhood.

"Fine," she relented. "Don't talk then. We can talk later. For now I want you to take off your clothes so I can tend to you."

Atem didn't move. He was at a loss over what to do. Tending to his wounds was undoubtedly necessary, but he really didn't want her to see the shape he was in, the marks that his body was covered in. If he undressed she would see, she would know, and he didn't want her to know. Seeing him in such a state would hurt her, upset her, and he couldn't stand the thought. Just how would she react? Would she blame herself for not being there for him? Perhaps she would think he was a troublemaker who got into fights and other bad things? Such thoughts swirled in Atem's head making him all the more confused, and his head ache all the more. He was stalling though he knew that he needed tending to. The wound on his left arm was throbbing badly and he knew that he was a big bump on the back of his head that could use an icepack to stop the swelling; but the fear of his well kept secret coming out in the open scared him out of his wits. He couldn't help it.

The woman sighed. "Is it about you baring skin before me? Believe me, I've seen it all, willing and unwilling."

Shaking his head rather forcefully Atem tried desperately to find a way not to strip. He just couldn't let her see. Kichiko became impatient, stepping closer to him.

"Do I have to go mother like on you?" He didn't answer. She peered at him. "Well, if you're not going to do so voluntarily I'll have to do something drastic. Forcing you is an idea. I can have one of the men come and pin you down while I strip you and patch you up. That'll be extremely embarrassing on your part but I'll get the job done. So, what's it gonna be?"

No answer. She sighed heavily. "Where are you hurt then?" Kichiko asked more professional this time.

"My head and my left arm." The arm throbbed fiercely and his head hurt even more. He wondered how he got that last injury.

"What kind of injuries?"

"I hit my head against something, and I was shot."

"You were shot?" Kichiko repeated. Atem nodded in response. "Did the bullet go straight through?"

"I-I don't know," he whispered. He was nowhere near ready to try and think back to how he'd gotten it in the first place.

"Alright. I'll clean the wound and have Yugi retrieve an icepack for your head. Come on now, off with your shirt." Walking to the door she opened it partially and gave the request to Yugi who, by the sound of the leaving footsteps, did as told.

Atem stood still, hesitating, not sure if it was such a good idea. Of course he needed tending to but he really didn't want to undress.

"Oh for kami's sake," came the outburst from Kichiko and suddenly a pair of hands grabbed Atem's sweater and dragged it unceremoniously off the unsuspecting boy. He yelped indignantly and in fright, trying desperately to both retrieve his sweater and to cover his upper body realisation came upon him that his well guarded secret would now be out in the open.

As expected, Kichiko gasped at the sight of his bare skin.

Atem took a look himself. There were some new blue and black marks from the initial fight with his father, and many fading bruises all over his abdomen and chest. Some scars covered mostly the upper part of his arms, one very bad in particular standing out at the nook of his left shoulder, crooked and uneven that had still to properly heal.

"What the hell happened?" came her outraged cry. "Whoever did this to you will have a lot to answer to when I get my hands on them. God, some of these bruises are really old; and that horrible scar!" she turned the shamed and embarrassed boy around to face her, true and dangerous anger darkening her features making her look quite scary. "Tell me who did this to you. I'll make sure they'll pay for what they've done to you."

Realisation hit Atem like he'd been hit with a bat. Nothing could be done. No one could revenge his pain and sorrow on the man who'd put him through hell for so long. No matter what anyone promised to do in his stead it was impossible. His father was dead. With a bullet in his head.

Glimpses of the scene came flashing through his mind; the calm man standing in the doorway to the kitchen; the gun in his hand as he moved forward; the pain in his arm as he was shot, falling over and being caught by his father; the mad struggle over the gun... that was what had happened. As Atem had been facing the gun once more he fought to try and wrench it out of the hands of the man above him, to no avail. He knew it was futile, he just wasn't strong enough. Yet he remembered how the gun was between them, two pair of hands fighting to get control over it, and somehow the barrel had pointed the other way. And bang. It was done. His father took the hit, the bullet meant for his son, and collapsed over the frightened boy. Panicked Atem managed to pull himself out, panting against the wall, trying to figure out why he was alive.

In the end, Atem couldn't take it. What he hid in his heart weighed down so heavily on him he felt that he waded two feet deep in the ground, unable to move, unable to act, all because of the fear for that one person who had been his remaining family had caused. Tears sprang from his tightly shut eyes, all his pent up emotions on the verge of tipping over his already pained heart made it so hard not to break down...

Kichiko immediately stopped her ministrations when she saw the tears, pulling him down to a seat beside her on the bed. "Oh, honey, its okay. Just let it all out, cry all you need." She wiped at one wet cheek only for more tears to fall at a furious pace.

"You can't," Atem choked out throatily. "You can't, you can't..."

"Can't what?"

"You can't," Atem repeated. "It's not possible..."

"What isn't possible?"

"Dead, already dead..."

"Who is?"

"My dad."

The silence fell heavily in the room. He'd said it, it was out in the open; it was real. That was when he broke. Falling into sobs and crying into Kichiko's lap he told in bits and pieces about what had happened that afternoon. He spoke brokenly of how his father had become a drunkard and abusing his own son for years; he talked of how the loss of his mother had affected him, also mentioning his suspicion concerning his mother's death. He briefly touched upon the loneliness of having no family, no friends, his suicidal thoughts being the result of all the pain and misery he felt, how he'd seriously considered doing unspeakable thing to either his father of himself. Mostly he asked over and over for forgiveness, apologising for being bad, for doing what he had done. He had blood on his hands now. That was unforgivable. No one could ever love a person who'd killed his own father.

Kichiko didn't interrupt him at any time, only let him vent and cry to his heart's content, being the silent support he so needed, the strong pillar to lean on. She let him cry until his eyes were dry once more; hugging him tightly and soothing hands whispered over his head and back till he was calm. For the longest time all they did was sit there, staying close, saying nothing. Atem never wanted to move from her arms. It felt like forever since he last felt so safe. There was warmth and safety in Kichiko's arms and he didn't want to lose it. He feared that if they disappeared he would plummet down into the darkness again, to the lonely place he'd spent so many years in. More than anything else in the world, even the rage of his now dead father, it was the darkness he feared the most.

At some point Kichiko did move. Atem clung to her like a small child to his mother.

"I'm not going anywhere," she assured him, as if she knew of his worried mind. "But I really should patch you up now. No need for more scars," she said rather grimly as she reached for her equipment. Reluctantly Atem let go of her. The pain in his heart had dimmed the physical one, but now that he was calm he felt the throbbing in his arm and head.

They said nothing as Atem was at last tended to. After the deed was done he was given some painkillers which he swallowed greedily. Never had he had anything for the pain so this was a welcomed change.

Kichiko was stroking through Atem's now free hair, having needed to take off the rubber band to get to the head wound. "You have such fantastic hair," she'd said. "Why do you keep it in a ponytail?"

Shrugging Atem simply said "just feel like it" while he kept the real reason to himself. Having the same hair as Yugi was bad enough to know, but to have him actually know would be horrible. He could be seen as a copycat, or just weird for having the same style. Besides he didn't want any unwanted attention as he was sure to get if people got wind of it.

A knock on the door kept her from asking him further. At the door was Yugi with the icepack, and also with a new set of clothes for Atem.

"You sure took your time," Kichiko chided.

"Not my fault that we were out of icepacks. I had to go buy some," he defended, slightly out of breath. Had he run to the store to get the icepacks?

"Alright, I get it. Thank you, and thanks for the clothes. That was very nice of you." She sounded surprised at this.

"Of course," was all Yugi said, sounding almost offended. Atem was confused. Why would Kichiko be surprised that Yugi brought clean clothes? Did she already have some spare ones for him to use? Nonetheless she accepted them then told him to scat, still having to look after her patient. Yugi grumbled but did as told.

"Here." The icepack was given to Atem and he took it gratefully, using his good arm for press it against his head. It was almost too cold but it felt so great against the bruised head so he didn't complain. Kichiko took a seat beside him again, setting him with a stern yet gentle look as she brushed away the last of his tears.

"Now you listen to me. None of what's happened is your fault. It was not your fault that your mother was killed. It was never your fault that your father abused you. And you aren't responsible for your father's death, it was self defence! Don't blame yourself for any of this; don't burden your young heart with all of this darkness. There's no need, you are not at fault. You hear me?"

"But –."

"No buts! You did nothing wrong. Your life was at stake, you defended yourself! Don't you forget that."

"I still have blood on my hands," Atem mumbled.

"No matter how you look at it, it was you or him," she said grimly. "Hadn't you managed to point the gun the other way it'd be you instead. It still wasn't you who pulled the trigger. You only forced it another way, you had no ideas it was facing your father."

"Even so..."

Kichiko sighed heavily, probably understanding that there was no use with reasoning with him for the moment. "Let's go get you cleaned up. There's a bathroom connected to this room, you can use it."

Nodding, Atem made to stand up but almost fell, his head feeling very heavy all of a sudden. Woozily he still tried to move toward the bathroom but the woman would have none of it as she took him by the shoulders to support him. "You're in no condition to do it yourself. I'll help you wash up, and no protests young man." He gave none.

Some awkward and embarrassing fourty minutes later he was clean though he didn't feel that he was. He could almost feel the blood of his father burn on his skin. It scared him. Yet he felt a little bit better that the blood was washed off and he was clothed in clean clothes. It felt good on his raw skin.

"You need to rest; you must be absolutely exhausted. Come, I'll take you to a room where you can sleep." Gently he was led to a small room. There was no bed but Kichiko rummaged in a closet and found a futon. It was laid out on the tatami floor – Atem just noticed – and he was quick to lay down on it. It felt so good, the soft material soothing and soft underneath him, lulling him to sleep. Yes, sleep sounded really good.

Kichiko helped him under the cover, tucking him in like a mother would a child. Then she sat beside him, one hand holding the icepack against his head, the other stroking his cheek and hair, humming a small tune that sounded vaguely familiar but the tired boy couldn't begin to try and remember it if he could. It felt so good and safe, having her beside him, coaxing him to sleep, and sleep he did, as his exhausted mind and pain filled body finally felt it could rest, to forget just for a little while all the bad things that had happened in just the last few hours.

Kichiko: And there you have it! Hope you all liked it! :D

Now you know what happened to Atem's father. It was not clear in the last chapter as Atem was in shock and traumatised. Shiro did try to kill his own son after all.

For those of you who might've noticed Atem's parents now have names. For some reason Chrino haven't given them any names in the previous chapters so we should go back and fix that detail, even if just for our own peace of mind.

Did some of you notice the behaviours of some of the characters? Why do you think this is? Please feel free to comment and theorise on this, though I can tell that it has everything to do with the plot.

And for those of you who might be reading **Never gonna be alone**, it has been updated too! We did a combo update just for you lovely readers! If you haven't read it yet, please feel free to give it a try, and tell us what you think

Now review, criticise, good or bad we'll take it as long as it's reasonable. Flamers will be used to warm our frozen feet and threats will be ignored. We love to hear what you think so feel free to rant away

Responses will be nonexistent until the beginning of October as we're off to London in a few days, which is also the reason we updated two stories in one go ;)

Now have a great weekend and I'll see you guys later :D


	7. Chapter 6

Chrino: So, this has actually been finished for a little while now... Make it maybe six weeks. Why I haven't posted it yet is because I wanted a second opinion on it, and I was also rather - well, what do I say - I don't know what I think of it as a whole. It's at least progress, I can't deny that. And I'm so sorry that it took this long to post this damned thing! But I thought, to hell with it, I'm just going to post it and hope that you all can forgive me for the lateness - again. I know, this gets boring after a while, but I'm not the most productive person to be honest.

But, here it is. I really hope you all enjoy it and that you will tell me what you think of it. I am really starting to develope the plot now so there might be some things that might strke you as odd or different. Speculate and give me your thoughts on it!

PS: No, I'm not satisfied with this chapter but I didn't want for you all to keep on waiting too much longer. Things are really picking up now so do please have some patience with me while I plunder on and try to get it from my brain onto the computer.

* * *

><p>It was just so unreal. Atem, the son of her long best friend, whom she hadn't seen for many years, was here beside her, sleeping peacefully, still as a rock.<p>

Kichiko found it hard to begin to comprehend all that had happened while she'd been away. After knowing the family since before Atem was even born it was shocking to hear of the fate that had fallen upon them. To learn that Shiro had been so awful to his own son, that he might be the reason for his wife's death made Kichiko's blood boil dangerously. Usually she'd be on her way with backup to give him a piece of him, to teach him of his position but he was already dead, by the hands of Atem no less.

She knew that Atem would need a long time to get over what had happened, and not just the recent trauma he'd suffered. Years of physical and mental abuse were nothing to laugh at, and she was determined to help him in any way she could. Knowing that he had been through so much made her heart throb with sadness. Hadn't she taken that job she would've been there for them, perhaps even have prevented the death of Annetta and the years of pain for Atem. But it was all in the past. There was nothing to be done, yet Kichiko couldn't help the twinge of guilt she felt. The past couldn't be changed but she could do something about the future, Atem's future. That would just have to be enough.

Letting out a huge sigh Kichiko finally stepped out of the room she'd provided for Atem where he now was sleeping. She'd sat with him until he fell asleep, which fortunately didn't take long. It had been a long and exhausting day for him. With everything he'd been through the last few hours sleep was just what he needed to get through the trauma.

Still a bit shell shocked over finally seeing Atem again after so many years she also couldn't believe what he'd been through at such a young age. It hurt her to see all those horrible scars and marks and bruises all over his pale skin. That moment, when she'd dragged off his blood stained sweater and saw him in the state he was, he looked so small, so fragile, and so god damned frightened that all she wanted was to wrap him up in a protective cocoon and protect him from all harm. That wouldn't have done him any good. The right thing to do was to guide him through all his emotional baggage, to help him heal and to cope. For Atem it was essential to become stronger from the pain and sorrow to truly be able to move on, and to live.

Although living in this house probably wasn't the best place for him. Kichiko needed to move Atem away; God knows he doesn't need more on his plate.

A movement in the corner of her eye caught her attention. From another hallway came Yugi sauntering, clad in a simple t-shirt and some sweatpants. He looked thoughtful, wandering around with no notice of the outside world.

"Ah, Yugi, just the person I was looking for."

It got Yugi's attention. He peered at her for a moment. "Whenever you look for me it's just to make me fetch, like a dog. You know Jonouchi is the dog."

"Oh, you're both dogs, you just behave differently."

She saw how Yugi bristled in silent anger over this. There was always this flame in the amethyst orbs that shone dangerously whenever he was at a breaking point. What could be so bad that he wanted to lash out?

"What is it then?" he asked, as composed as he managed. She commended him that, he really knew how to hold his temper.

She set him a stern look. "Just wanted to have a word with you."

"And what could that be about?"

"About Atem, though you probably already guessed that."

"I sure did. I wonder how you managed to deduct that."

"Don't be cheeky. The mere fact that you are too curious for your own good is indication enough. I know you. I know you're dying to know what happened to Atem. But," she pointed a finger at him, "you're not to ask him anything. I want your word that you won't be nosing around, poking it where it shouldn't be and leave Atem to himself. Give him the time and space he needs."

"But what if he wants my company and comfort?" The smug look on his face annoyed her immensely.

"You still won't make him talk of anything he doesn't want to talk about."

"Considering that he likes me he just might talk on his own."

That explained the smugness. And Atem actually likes Yugi. Well, she could understand why, she just wasn't sure how he would react to certain – details.

"It will still be on his own time when he's ready," she pressured. "And, oh, you reminded me of something. Don't you dare take advantage of him in any way, else you'll deal with me."

"Ooo, I'm shaking in my boots."

"This is no laughing matter. Hurt Atem in any way and I'll hunt your ass down."

"Grandpa won't like that." Kichiko knew that Yugi would've loved that part, her being chased down by the kumichou. He had an evil sense of humour, that boy.

Kichiko snorted. "I'm not scared of that old coot."

"Stupidity."

"Perhaps, but one does crazy things when protecting family."

Yugi looked puzzled at this. "Atem's not your family."

"Not in blood but he's as good as."

"Protective much?"

"Shut it twerp or I'll slip something in your evening tea."

Yugi gasped at this, smirking. "And now you're threatening me."

"Oh no, it's not a threat, it's a promise. Do him any harm and I'll come after you. Do not force him, do not push him nor pressure him, and for the love of god, behave!"

"Behave? I'm always at my best behaviour."

Kichiko clenched her teeth. How Yugi managed to irritate her so much was a big mystery. "Listen here, mister nosy. I've known you for years, and knowing you you'll nag Atem to make him tell you what happened. You might fool others with your act, but not me. I know you, how you can go to any lengths to gain what you want. Well guess what, I won't let you. Atem is off limits."

"Protective of him, aren't we?"

"Perhaps. Atem's been through a lot and I won't have you _or_ your friends asking him questions. Let him be, give him space, and if he ever wants to open up to you and talk it'll be at his own pace. _Are_ _we clear_?"

He grumbled for a moment but finally mumbled fine. "Good," Kichiko breathed, "as long as we agree. For the love of me, your grandfather sure has made his imprint on you. Speaking of which," she stole a look at her watch, "I have a meeting with the darling kumichou and I was supposed to meet him ... 20 minutes ago. And guess what? The reason for the meeting is that I apparently did something that was, in the end, your doing. Funny how that happens, Yugi-_sama_."

"Don't call me that," the boy hissed.

"Oh sorry, did I offend you." It was no question, she knew sama was the worst thing anyone could call him. That and bozo. It just irked him in ways she would probably never know the reasons for.

"Oh, and another thing, you have to tell him."

"Tell him what?"

"You know _what_, Yugi-sama." And with that she was off, trotting soundly down the corridor toward the meeting room.

Teasing Yugi was never a good idea but she really couldn't help herself. The reaction he gave her was so worth the hell the kumichou would give her when she overstepped her 'boundaries'. Besides, he needed someone who would oppose him from time to time. At least Kichiko thought so.

She sighed heavily as she walked toward the meeting room. The last thing she wanted to waste her time on was talking to the old coot, listening to all his plans on taking things further or his never ending complaining over whatever bugged him this time. It was bothersome to say the least. She had too much important work to attend to, and some of it just couldn't wait. Mulling over it for a second she reached a decision: abruptly changing direction she made her way to her office. With ugly business and dead bodies to bury, the old man would just have to wait a little longer.

-o-O-o-

Atem had woken up alone on the futon he'd been offered from Kichiko. He guessed it was the next day; the sun shined brightly in through the window, warming up the spot he lay on. Feeling quite comfortable and warm he started to stretch his body only to curl up in pain. He took a moment to adjust to the aching before slowly sitting up. Looking around the room he was in Atem realised that he didn't really remember getting here. In fact, he couldn't really remember much of the previous day in general. His body hurt but that was nothing new, probably got another beating for some obscured reason as usual. Fingers and hands were scraped up badly he noticed, bandages covered most of them. His head throbbed, announcing painfully the headache he sported. Nothing new either. He had no count over the times he'd keeled over and hit his head on something in the way or on the floor, the stairs, or from an object flying in his direction and hitting the mark. The left arm hurt too, just below the shoulder. Upon closer look there were bandages there too. Huh. Atem really couldn't remember putting on a bandage that nicely before. Despite his reluctant practise it still wasn't easy to apply on certain areas alone, hands especially. So how had he acquired them?

It had to have been another row with his father. Probably drunk as hell as usual and taking out whatever anger Kei harboured out on his son. That was practically standard and everyday thing that Atem found it rather normal, if painful. But he sure was curious as to why he didn't remember yesterday.

Yesterday was Sunday. He was taking great joy in having the house to himself, singing a tune, thinking of the day he could finally leave. He was pondering life in general as he often did when all alone. That was when Kei had shown up. Yes, he'd come into the kitchen where Atem lay on the floor, singing to himself. Kei had sneered at the boy for that, spouting the usual insults and harsh words. And then ... he'd taken out a gun. A gun that he pointed at Atem...

Bits and pieces of a scene shot through Atem's mind in blurry motions; a shot wound, the sound of a gun thundering, shattering his eardrums, a man lying face down in his own pool of blood, his father dead on the kitchen floor...

It all came rushing back then, gruesome pictures and glimpses of blood stained floorboards, the yelling and the promise to end a life, a son's life; his own son, Shiro's son. A gun pointed to Atem's head, the frustrated and angered face of his father above him as Atem fought to push the gun away ...

A knock was heard and Atem almost jumped out of his skin. Good lord, for a moment he had been certain it was a gunshot. 'How silly,' he thought. Still he shook heavily as fear elevated and panic started to set. Another knock sounded doing little to calm his already racing heart. "Atem-kun, are you awake?"

Oh god. A new type of panic came over him. There was no way he was ready to see Yugi, not now. He needed time to process everything; he couldn't deal with seeing his secret love and be constantly afraid of blurting something out.

Still he couldn't help but give an affirmative yes. Yugi had helped him yesterday, which was more than anyone else had ever done for him. He owed Yugi an explanation at least though he had no idea what to tell him.

"May I come in?" Yugi called.

"Sure," he called back, nervous as he'd never been.

The door slid open, revealing the one behind it. Even in sweatpants and a t-shirt Yugi still managed to look good. Why was that? Atem didn't really ponder it too much as Yugi flashed him a big grin. He simply lost his mind.

He sat down cross legged beside Atem, who fiddled with the hem of the futon. "How are you?"

"Fine. Kichiko patched me up."

"She's good at that. I've no idea how many times she's given me stitches and bandages for something stupid I did. So, what happened to you?"

Atem clamped up. What happened yesterday wasn't something he wanted to revisit right now. He feared falling into despair and hopelessness as he had the previous evening on Kichiko's lap. But he had to say something. "It wasn't anything big, just fell and scraped myself. It was nothing really."

"I wouldn't call being covered in blood nothing."

Of course it wasn't nothing but telling Yugi just wasn't an option. Atem struggled to find something to say but couldn't. Saying nothing sounded like a good idea so he didn't.

Yugi seemed to study him closely. It made Atem feel rather unwell. He didn't like being in the spotlight. Being the one in focus never meant any good, for him that was.

Yugi seemed different somehow. Before he was always so sweet, kind, protective even. But now, now there seemed to be something lying underneath the surface, a side of him Atem' hadn't seen before. He couldn't put it into words but whatever it was it unnerved him, made him uncomfortable. The headache intensified. God, he longed for an aspirin.

"What's up with your hair?" Yugi suddenly asked.

Now that was a question Atem had rehearsed the answer to so many times but it was just gone right then. Silent the boy hardly knew what to answer. How do you manage to convince the one that you have a love interest in that you didn't copy the hairstyle? Not that it would be possible seeing as it defies gravity the way it does. "Is something wrong with it?" he then asked just so say _something_.

Yugi shrugged. "Nah, it's just that it looks just like my hairdo and mine is natural. You saying that yours is too?"

Atem nodded. Yugi scratched his head at that. "Huh. Never seen anything like my own hair and here you are, with star shaped gravity defying hair. We could be brothers. But we aren't." He stretched out a hand, running long fingers through Atem's golden locks, tugging at the strands. When satisfied he simply sat back, again giving the other boy that drilling stare. It unnerved Atem immensely.

A holler from the hallway shook the walls with its intensity as a man's voice was heard, "Minami! You bloody bothersome woman, when are you going to show up to the meetings as told? Ungrateful, rude and no punctuality, why do I let you keep your bloody job, huh? It's not like I can't replace you! _Answer me when I talk to you woman_!"

Atem sat quite still, almost as if expecting the man to come blundering into the room and yell at him too. He'd had enough of those encounters with his father – now deceased – and he really didn't need to relive those memories. Yugi sighed heavily and rose to his feet.

"I better go do some meddling. Gramps can be rather unreasonable when people don't do as told. Excuse me." And with that he left, leaving Atem confused. Not that he minded, now he wouldn't have to keep his tongue and say something stupid.

Atem wasn't alone for long. Suddenly the door opened once more, revealing Kichiko as she flung herself inside and slammed it shut after her, causing Atem to jump once more.

"Sorry," she said as she blocked it shut with a chair. "I'm just trying to avoid the old coot. Yugi's grandfather," she added to Atem's blank expression. "Was that Yugi I just saw leave?"

"Yeah. He dropped by to see how I was."

"Huh. That's nice of him." The cold tone was almost unheard but there. It surprised and confused Atem.

"He saw my hair," he said.

That surprised Kichiko. "Why is that a bad thing? Oh, of course," she answered herself, "your hairs are the same. Don't you worry, if he thinks you a stalker I'll just show him a picture of you from when you were little. Problem solved."

Atem didn't think so but knew she had a point. Giving proof that he really wasn't trying to copy Yugi was a good thing. It might seem silly to others but it was really important for Atem that Yugi knew this. Hiding it in a ponytail was incorporated in his morning routine that he didn't think twice of it, mostly because he didn't like it and secondly he didn't want Yugi to see. Now that he'd seen it though... he supposed it wouldn't hurt to stop with all the hair products. It was the least of his worries yet he couldn't help himself.

Kichiko clapped her hands, face set in a professional expression. "Now, since I'm here it's time to do a little check up."

Kichiko took his temperature, looked over his wounds. She looked almost too focused for such a simple task. He realised something then. "You're hiding."

Kichiko looked up from her task then grinned sheepishly as she finished up and packed away her equipment. "Yeah, well, he and I don't see eye to eye on everything. 'It's not that I can't replace you,' he says. Hmph, I don't really worry about that." She was talking more to herself than Atem now. "I don't need an office here; it's just you that think it's more convenient that way. Bah!"

She caught the utterly confused look on Atem. "Oh, sorry. Yes, I'm hiding but that's not the only reason. I wanted to come see how you were doing. That was my bigger priority. So, if he can't understand that then that'll be his problem. You hungry?"

He nodded.

"I'll go fetch something then. Something light, if you haven't eaten properly in a while. Should also make a diet for you... gather strength..." Talking to herself once again Kichiko seemed rather distracted. Atem didn't know why and he didn't want to pry. Even as he thought this there was something he wanted to know, something he'd been wondering for several years. So he asked.

"Why did you move away?"

Kichiko didn't look surprised by the question and merely smiled sadly at him. "I didn't move to get away from you and your family if that's what you're wondering. I simply got a good job offer that I couldn't refuse. Working at the hospital was one of the things I wanted most and there was my chance, so I took it."

"So, you're a nurse?"

"A doctor, one that makes home calls, though it seems my main office is in this house."

"Why?"

Kichiko shrugged. "I think to spare them the effort of always calling me and to keep me close, even though I'm just the family doctor. I know too much about this family to wander around too much on my own. Rats," she cursed. Atem had no idea who she meant. "Rats aside, when you're better I'd like for you to move in with me. Not that you too hurt or anything, I just want to settle some things before you do."

"You don't want me to stay here?" It didn't sound too bad to Atem, to stay in the same house as Yugi. It would mean being closer to him other than at school where his friends were.

"I would rather you stay with me. It would make me feel more at ease."

"You're saying it like something will happen to me if I stay here."

Looking unsettled she revealed some form of concern of just that but she hid it quickly by laughing it off, smiling sweetly, drawing him into a hug. "Of course not, silly. I only want to spend some time with you. Having you living with me would make me happy though."

Another loud roar sounded through the wall, "MINAMI! YOU BETTER SHOW UP NOW OR ELSE IT'LL BE YOUR HEAD!"

"Charming," Kichiko said before releasing Atem. "Look, I just want you to be careful while you're here in this house."

"Why?"

"I'm not really allowed to say though I should. Just be on your watch. And don't upset anyone. If you do let me know and I'll handle it, okay?"

"You're scaring me, Kichiko. What is going on?"

"No time for explanations. I really have to go see the old man. Take those painkillers, get some rest and I'll be back later."

The two short conversations had Atem think way too much for the aspirin to work for his headache and the sun to feel less pleasant, almost cool in the sunny afternoon.

-o-O-o-

When Kichiko returned a few hours later with lunch, grumbling under her breath of how it would've been better for Atem to stay with her, he understood that he was to stay with the Mutou's. He didn't really know what to think about it. Of course he was thrilled to be close to Yugi at all times, yet at the same time he was petrified. Why he was scared he couldn't tell. It was just this nagging feeling he had that something was off. As to why he was staying in this house instead of with Kichiko was also a mystery, one that she either didn't want to share or just didn't have the knowledge of.

Before she left for the day she scribbled down her cell phone number, urging Atem to call whenever he needed her. It didn't matter if it was in the middle of the night; she wanted him to call whatever the reason. It made him very happy to know that he could now reach her whenever he wanted. It also made him think of what she'd said earlier about not upsetting anyone in the house.

He had no idea what to expect from his stay.

-o-O-o-

The next couple of days at the manor were awkward. Atem wasn't forced to bed rest so he could walk around the house, though he didn't go anywhere but the bathroom and the garden; he felt he didn't want to intrude more than he already was. The size of the house and the wealth it showed made it clear that it was a huge traditional inspired one. The garden sure was impressive enough. Atem found he liked sitting outside by the small pond, listening to the sound of water sidling down the small stream, to the occasional song of the birds coming by, simply enjoying the peace and quiet, loving how it all made him so calm. He was glad for these moments alone, to progress, to process all that had happened. Kichiko had a few moments with him where they just talked, telling him the importance of forgiving himself, to work through all the horrible that had happened so he could move on. It sounded impossible at the moment. Though he had to admit he was happy that he was alive, to still have a chance to maybe do something in life.

Inside the mansion – it couldn't be anything else – there were often bustling activity. There were men in suits striding down the corridors during any time of the day, most of them mean looking, many with scars and tattoos. Most gave Atem strange glares whenever they passed. It scared Atem. He couldn't help but think of the yakuza. But that couldn't be. If yakuza was in the house, that would mean that Yugi was part of it, didn't it?

As for Yugi, he didn't show any sign on having acting any different that first afternoon. He kept on his cheerful face, always telling stories and laughing and doing everything he could to help Atem be more comfortable. They played games, watched movies, did their homework (Atem was excused from the school by Kichiko for the time being) and Yugi even joined in on sitting and enjoying the garden. "I'm not much of a nature fan but its okay like this too," he'd admitted. It made Atem's day.

But Yugi had school while Atem had been excused for the whole week so he found himself quite bored. Sure, he did have his homework that Yugi brought him and a couple of books Anzu had lent him that were interesting but not doing much just made him restless.

Nothing happened at all during those lazy days, not before that one day when Atem was on his way to the garden when he heard someone call out, "My, is that you, Yugi?"

Atem turned to the female voice and saw a most wonderful and beautiful woman. Her long blonde hair was pulled up in a bun, the long bangs framing her face in such a way it enhanced her features almost naturally. Her kimono was a deep blue with many embroidered golden motives on it. Her mere presence almost had Atem to his knees. She was not someone to mess around with, that much he knew, and for a moment he was really glad he was gay. It didn't mean he couldn't admire her beauty.

Her violet eyes bore into him with such intensity it was scary. They softened a bit as realisation dawned on her.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you were Yugi. My, do you look alike. If I didn't know any better I'd say you were twins."

She looked him over, more closely this time. Atem felt like he was being x-rayed.

"Do excuse me; I tend to forget my manners. And you have apparently not been properly educated; I must talk to Sugoroku about that. I'm Kujaku Mai. You better remember that name."

"Ye-yes, ma'm," Atem stuttered, feeling quite intimidated by this gorgeous woman.

"Call me Mai, darling. Now, what is your name?"

"Takamori Atem."

"Takamori? Haven't heard that name before. What is your business here? Are your parents acquainted with Sugoroku?"

Atem shook his head. Why would she think so?

"I see. So you're just a friend of Yugi's. Funny, I don't recall him mentioning you. I would most certainly remember such a special name as Atem. European?"

Before Atem could scramble up an answer they were interrupted by Yugi. "Mai? What are you doing here?"

"Now, there is my favourite boy!" Mai exclaimed, completely ignoring the question. "Now come give your auntie a hug."

Stomping over she drew the boy into her arms, squeezing him for all he was worth. Embarrassed Yugi tried to avoid the embrace to no avail. "I'm too big to be mothered like this," he grumbled.

"Nonsense," Mai said with a silky smile. "You'll always be my little darling Yugi."

"Oh god, don't say such things!"

"But you are, my little sweet. Now, care to tell me why you haven't told me about your little friend here?"

Finally out of Mai's arms Yugi straightened his sweater before turning to the one in question. His expression was unreadable. "He's a friend from school."

"Oh, I gathered as such. I want to know how he became your friend."

Again they were interrupted, this time by Kichiko. She was in normal clothes today, a simple blouse and jeans, the doctor's coat nowhere to be seen.

"Kujaku-sama, how nice to see you again. How is your family?"

"Oh, darling, we know each other too well to be so formal, how many times do I have to tell you this? My family is as well as they can be. You know how it is these days, so many groups trying to take over and so many enemies confronting us on so many grounds. Honestly, what does a woman have to do to get some peace?"

"Bitch them off and take a stand," Kichiko replied. "Usually works that way around here."

"Oh, I can only imagine. It must be so hard to be a female doctor around this bunch."

"You have no idea. Atem, are you hungry? How about we go get something to eat?" Quickly she ushered him back the way he came. Utterly confused by her behaviour he tried to complain but she wouldn't have it. Behind him he heard Mai say, "He doesn't know what household he lives in?"

Household? What was so special about this place anyway?

"Kichiko, what's going on?" he asked but she wouldn't answer him. In fact, all she did was usher him into the kitchen and talk about how he needed to think of keeping the diet on his own when she wasn't around. It made him all the more conspicuous as to what was going on. Honestly, he wasn't all too sure he even wanted to find out.

* * *

><p>Kichiko: And there you have it! Did you like it? Hate it? Should it be incinerated for its lateness? Should it be praised for its greatness? Well don't just sit there! Click on that review button and tell us <em>exactly<em> what you think! We'll be sooo happy if you do! :D

Oh, and if anyone actually reads what is written after the chapters, here goes:

**WE'RE LOOKING FOR A BETA!** We do have a friend who helps out, but poor darling has her own stories and school and life in general to think about so we don't want to bother her too much. So if you're interested in being our beta send a PM :) And I promise that it won't be this bipolar act thing going on, it's just something that stuck here on ffn :P

So, review, think about the betajob thing, and lastly, have a wonderful and great week!

Until next time! ^^


	8. My deepest apologies!

Hi all you wonderful readers. I apologise profusely but this isn't a story update. I'm sorry to inform you all that I won't be writing on this story for the time being. It's not because of things going on in my life, more other than me working a lot and being tired, but more due to the fact that I seem to have lost ... hmm, how do I say this, not interest, but the drive to write. This story I've had planned for years and _finally_ I found the right way to start it. But now it's all just a big jumble of things thrown together.

I don't know yet if I'll take it down all together or if I will continue. I hope to be able to one day, to give you the chance to read this story as a whole, but right now it's not going the way I want it to. Nothing seems to work at the moment and I haven't even been able to write a thing since the last update, which sounds weird maybe since it was just in July. Even so, I've no drive to write anything. And I'm just letting you all know because I don't want you all waiting in vain for an update that might not even come. If it ever comes to this story being deleted I'll let you know, though I'm hoping that I'm able to re-write it so that it'll be great. Right now, I'm just stuck. And I'm stuck with everything I'm trying to write.

But fret not! If I ever get back to writing again this one will be better than ever! But for now I'll just practise on my writing, maybe post something else, just to get into it again. And when I feel that I can pick this one up again I will, I promise!

And for those waiting for that last chapter of _Never Gonna Be Alone_, I'm sorry! But that one too has been a lost cause lately :( It shall be finished, it's only one chapter left! I just might be able to finish it during my vacation that starts this Friday. I will post it as soon as I get it done, you all deserve that!

Again I apologise. I feel like such a jerk, and I am, I just wanted you all to know that I love writing and I love sharing my stories with you, but when I'm in this stupid stump – it's lasted for a good half a year already – I thought it best to be upfront and honest about it.

Even with these bad news I hope you all will have a great winter holiday, a merry Christmas and a happy new year ^^


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